It has been 11 months since I started this blog. My very first post can be found here.

There have been many highs and just as many lows. Richard getting re diagnosed and it being Stage 4 this time. Doing all those terrible painful treatments with no results except that the cancer keeps growing. The surprise of going to Disney World. Puberty with the boys. Too funny. Jacob having Shingles. Becoming a Mommy Blabber. Celebrating 8 years of wedded bliss.

I would say the past 11 months have been a roller coaster through the hills and valley's that is life.

I never thought in a million years that I would stick with this for very long. Didn't think I had much worth writing. Ha! go figure.But slowly people started coming by this here place of mine. Leaving comments. Boy oh boy did I feel special when I would have just one lonely comment. Now people come from all over to read, comment and email me to let me know that they care and are praying for our family. Truly humbling.

This blog is my outlet where I can come and just get it all out. Sometimes it's raw and painful. Lord knows many a night I have sat on my couch with the laptop and wrote on this blog and cried until I could no longer see through the tears. Afterwards I always have a long talk with God. It's like free therapy.

Another thing I never would have guessed would be the remarkable friendships I have made, the people I have met and the outpouring of love, prayers and generosity to our family. It has truly rocked my world.

My Special Angels with their unbelievable gift of our upcoming Disney trip. I am still in awe.

Now Shelley with her fundraiser for us. Remarkable!

How does one say thank you? Those words feel so inadequate for the way Richard and I feel. Our lives will never be the same because of these remarkable blessings that have been bestowed upon us by all of you. We are beyond grateful for everything.

You have given us the greatest gift of all for the memories that you have allowed us to make. The boys and I will cherish these all the days of our lives.


Much love & may God bless you all abundantly!

SURPRISES keep coming!

So this morning. I'm just sitting here trying to get caught up on my blog reading.

And what do I find... this.

WOW!

Surprised most definitely.

Personal Assistant/Shopper/Maid/Chef for Hire

Ok so not really.

I have been very overwhelmed the last couple of days, VERY!

Richard is doing a little better, his lungs are clear. Yay. He is now back on the pain patch. They are giving him regular doses of nausea medicine to help him tolerate it better. So far we are 12 hours in and no nausea and the pain is gone. Praise God! Also he will be getting discharged tomorrow. His PFT's were really low for him on Monday but the Doctor is not to concerned since he was in quite a bit of pain when he went to blow so he couldn't take in a very good deep breath. As far as I know they are not going to repeat them before he gets discharged tomorrow.

I have so many things that I need to do. But I'm tired and just emotionally spent. Let's review my list shall we.

• Need to call Disney and verify some things that I'm concerned about.
• Ask Disney about medically needed fridge for Richard's aerosol meds.
• Call Randy's Mobility to check on status of scooter. Tried doing this yesterday and apparently there is an issue. Can't forget to call back by March 7th.
• Check hotel listings in Valdosta Georgia. May have to travel two days to split trip up so Richard doesn't get to uncomfortable with all the riding. Have to wait and see how he's feeling. May be leaving a day earlier.
• Shoes. GOT. TO. get shoes for Richard and myself.
• Need to find some elastic waisted lounge pants/sweat pants/shorts or something for Richard since his blue jeans bother his abdomen to be able to wear.
• Need to see about some new capris for myself or some more blue jeans.
• Need new T-shirts for the both of us. By the way I went to Disney shopping .com and found all of us some Disney screen printed t-shirts for 2.99 and 3.99 each. Whoo hoo.
• Have got to buy snacks/bottled water/breakfast stuff to take with us.
• Need to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE for all of the above and Disney. I have a dollar amount figured in my head to cover gas, eats and any unknowns.
• Clean the house thoroughly before we leave.
• Go grocery shopping in general sometime.
• Need to call Car Insurance company about printing insurance card with my name on them too. I am on the policy but our cards just have Richard's name and in order for me to pick up the rental car and do all the driving while we're gone my name has to be on the card.
• Stop crying all the time.
• Try NOT to go CRAZY.
• Try NOT to go CRAZY.
• Try NOT to go CRAZY!

Are you seeing where the title of my post comes in? haha And I'm sure there is probably quite a few things I have missed by making this list. I have come to the conclusion that either they will get done or they won't. At least my silver lining has the cutest mouse ears ever. We are going to have the most memorable time.

We can't wait! 16 Days Whoo Hoo!

Jumbled Stuff

Boy I sure have missed all you blog-buddies.

This week has been one that I don't wish to relive. But I will cause I know you all are dying to know where I have been and what has been going on.

As you all know from my last post Richard has been having some pretty bad pain. Well I'm glad to report that the Doctors have finally figured out a pain medicine regimen that is working well for him. After much trial and error this has been a huge relief.

Anyhow Sunday night Kim came to spend the night so she could watch the boys for me on Monday since they were out of School for President's Day.

So while she was already staying the night I figured I would come up to the Hospital and spend the night with my Hubby cause he was feeling pretty rough.

At 5 AM I was woken abruptly by a wave of nausea and severe stomach cramps. I was sick. Sicker than Sick. Oh it was bad. I was laying in the recliner with a washcloth on my head trying to get my composure so I could somehow manage to drive home so I wouldn't give this new sickness to my honey.

At 7:45 AM Kim calls and Jacob was laying on the bathroom floor crying in pain with this same Sickness. So I managed to pull myself together long enough to be able to take the long walk to the parking deck and drive home. WORST TRIP EVER!

So needless to say Monday and half of Tuesday was spent trading toilet space with Jacob thanks to our 1 bathroom. (Richard we need another bathroom... please) As well as washing every piece of bedding, scrubbing the toilet in between visits and trying to sleep while having the worst stomach cramps ever.

Now on to Wednesday. We all 3 got up got ready for school and work. Made sure Jacob got on the bus. Calob and I loaded up in the car and drove to MIL's because they are taking him to school since I have to be at work by 7:30. Anyhow on the way there I had to pull over as Calob flew from the car and started throwing up.

Yep now Calob had the dreaded sickness. So I called my boss laughing cause it was kind of funny to me at this point. I think I was going crazy. So Wednesday and Thursday was spent nursing Calob.

Finally we made it to today. I am at work and both boys are at school. I haven't heard from any school nurse so I am guessing we are all recovered.

I am here in Richard's room where I have been loving on him for the past several minutes because through all of this I couldn't see him. I have missed him terribly. Thank goodness we are all better.

Also thank you who have sent cards. So far we have received 7 they have been great, some of you really got creative. Richard is loving it. So keep them coming.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. Richard's pain is under control as of now. Praise God! They are going to do his PFT's on Monday and he may get out of here after only a 10 day stay instead of a 14 day one. YAY! YIPPEE!

Disney is in 21 days. 21 DAYS! Oh my gracious I have so much I need to do. SO MUCH. Richard and I both need a pair of tennis shoes. His are wore out and I don't own a pair. Yes you read that right out of the 65 + pairs of shoes I have nary a pair of tennis shoes. Richard is desperate need of new shorts and t-shirts. I need to get a couple of pairs of capris and some t-shirts. The kids have plenty of clothes and they just got new shoes the first of January. So their good to go. Yep like all of us good parents the kids have it all while we wear holy pants and stained shirts. haha

I also have got to reserve the electric scooter for Richard. There are several other things I need to work on. I just am slightly overwhelmed. It'll get done. 21 days is gonna fly by.

I'm so ready for this trip. We all are!

I apologize that this post is all over the place. This is my brain here lately. All over the place.

Cards for Richard

So as you all know my wonderful hubby is in the Hospital. He has really been struggling with the pain. We knew that as the Cancer progressed that pain was destined to come along with it. We just weren't expecting it this soon. Seems like things are happening so fast here lately.

Anyhow Richard is feeling a little low. And after receiving emails form several of you I decided the best way to cheer him up and let him know just how many people are thinking and praying for him, for us, is to just flood and overwhelm him with cards and letters of well wishes and good thoughts.

I know the boys would love to see all the cards coming in and to be able to bring them to the Hospital to their Dad would make them feel like they were helping to make him feel better.

It's the little things in life that mean the most and I would love it if you would help in this project.

Any cards, store bought cards or if you have kids have them make a card, if you teach you could have your class make cards, if you're one of those scrapbook divas you could go crazy, Sunday School classes, just use your imagination. Have fun! Make it a project.

Also if you wanted to blog about it and ask your readers to participate that would be awesome. So feel free.

Here is our address.

Richard & Kori McCulley
P.O. Box 261
Graysville, Alabama 35073

Much love & Many blessings,


P.s I know I haven't been around much lately. Things are just a little chaotic right now. Hopefully this week things will cool down a little and I'll be by.

Key Lime Pie says I Love You!

Today didn't start off so good for my honey.

They put him on the pain patch yesterday afternoon. Apparently there was an issue with the Pharmacy getting it up here. So he was taking Lortab before they finally were able to get it.

Anyhow this morning my hubby had the worst bout of nauseousness he has ever experienced. He didn't actually throw-up but he has had that yucky feeling all day.

They took him off the patch and now he is on Oxycontin.

This has been one pain medicine roller coaster. Tonight as I sit here in this Hospital room, he is feeling a little better. His eyelids are pretty heavy and he keeps itching. Which is to be expected.

I had plans of getting take-out from somewhere and coming up here to have our little Valentine's dinner. But with him not feeling up to par we decided against it.

Although I did ask if there was anything he would like to have.

His response was Oreo's (of course) and Key-Lime pie. So I ran to Wally World and got my hubby his goodies.

He enjoyed it. Don't ya think?.

Wishing you all a Happy Valentine's Day!

Update

So here I sit at my computer with my two boys eating dinner behind me.

There's laughter and chit-chatter.

Why does it still feel so empty here?

Because Richard is in the Hospital 20 miles away. I miss him terribly already. Even knowing that I will see him tomorrow still doesn't make it any better.

Today at the Doctor we learned that the cancer is 25% worse than it was a month and a half ago. The Doctor felt as though the pain Richard has been experiencing is Chronic. It will only get worse.

This isn't a virus or a cold that will only come with seasons. There is NO getting better. This is our life.

Therefore the Doctor put Richard on a pain patch which he is now receiving while in the Hospital. We hope this gives him relief. As sitting up straight here lately has even been a chore for him. Simple things like walking make the pain worse. This is just the beginning of what's to come I'm afraid.

Hopefully the pain patch will do what it is supposed to and we can all have a wonderful time at Disney with long-lasting memories.

Thank you all for your prayers today and every other day. Also I got a couple of emails about wanting to send Richard a card while he's in. He would love that. If any of you would like to do this as well. Please let me know by sending me an email to cferswife@gmail.com and I will be more than happy to give you our address.

God is our strength, our rock, our peace. We lean on him in our weakest times. We don't understand but we trust Him. He loves us, holds us and leads our way down these paths.

We follow his lead... always.

Short

This post is gonna be short. I know! Can ya'll believe it? A short post from me?

First and foremost please remember us in prayer tomorrow as we go to the Oncologist office to see about the CT scan from last week. Pray that the Cancer isn't progressing too much and that the liver and pancreas are still clean of cancer.

After this appointment we will be walking over to the Pulmonary unit where Richard will then be admitted if everything goes as planned. His CF has been flaring up over the last few weeks. We feel it is best for him to go in now so that way he will be feeling his best when we go to Disney.

These stays are never routine for any of us. We told the boys tonight, they knew it was coming. Jacob cried and was very upset. But he got ok and is now gone to Church with his little brother.

Calob always does good with the initial news. It's when Richard actually leaves that he has his come apart. It just never gets any easier.

I will update tomorrow when I get home about the Oncology appointment. Thanks again for all the prayers.

As for you that signed up to be interviewed by me. I will get it to it. Just be patient. During these Hospital stays my life becomes more than a little crazy.

Interview x 2

Alright folks I have been interviewed not once but twice. By 2 of my most favorite people.

The awesome Trish asked this first set of questions. You should really go check her out. She is awesome, love her. And I bet she didn't know that I have been a stalker of hers for quite sometime. Yes now my secret is out. It helps me get in touch with my inner spy. Actually no it doesn't I'm just shy sometimes and don't always know what to say to other people. Anyhow I'm over that stage of my blog-life now. Hi my names Kori and I promise to no longer be a stalker/lurker of blogs any longer.

So without further ado...

1. In honor off my husbands recent embarrassing moment, please tell us what your most embarrassing moment was.

Oh wow really? Ok it would be an embarrassing Mother moment. When Jacob was about 2 1/2 we had already been through the potty training phase. Well we lived right around the corner from my Dad so Jacob and I walked over to visit one evening. While my Dad and his company and I were having a very important conversation Jacob was dancing and prancing saying "Mommy I gotta potty" And of course I told him just one minute and I would take him. Well he must have had to go pretty bad cause he climbed up the stairs to my Dad's back porch proceeded to pull down his pants , squatted and he did #2 right there on the porch. I was mortified in front of my Dad and his company. But at least they got a good chuckle as I hosed down the porch.

2. Which would you rather do: Girls Getaway, Romantic Weekend with Hubby, or Family Vacation?

Right now I would just like to get away. I don't care who I'm with.

3. You're stranded on a deserted island with a bottle, a cork, a pencil and a piece of paper. What would your message in a bottle say?

Don't come get me! Just send books, Charmin toilet paper (blue not the red) and chocolate.

4. What is your favorite book of all time (not including the Bible).

Pride and Prejudice ~ Jane Austen

5. What is your "love language"? The one or two things that someone can do that make you feel the most loved?

A handmade anything whether it be a handwritten letter, or a drawing by my youngest. It's the simple things that someone had to think before doing oh and let's not forget a hug.

Ok now my next set of questions came from the one and only Lula. I have to admit I was nervous when I offered to let her interview me. I wasn't sure which path we would be going down. She is so unpredictable at times. But I love her and she knows it.

1. If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be?

To be able to transport myself from place to place in a second.

2. Share your favorite childhood memory.

Spending the summers at my Big Daddy and MeMaw's house. Riding the tractor, making cane syrup, shucking corn, shelling butter beans, playing with my cousins. Oh those were good times.

3. Name three people, living or dead, you'd invite to a dinner party in your home. What would you serve?

My 3 Half Sisters (all living) and humble pie.

4. You've been given a 2 week, all-expenses paid vacation to anywhere in the world. Where would you go? Whom would you take along for the journey?

Italy! My family.

5. A movie is being made about your life story, thus far. Who will be cast to play you as an adult? Who will play your husband? What will be the theme song of this movie?

Ok Lula we really need to talk about how you implement 3 questions in one. Ok simply because she is one of my favorite actresses ever I am going with Jennifer Garner. As for the hubby his character has to be older... hmm.... thinking.... ooo Can it be Mike Rowe? Ok guess not. I pick Matthew McConaughey BUT he HAS to use deodorant and not do the man odor thing.. I love him and all but that's just yucky. Hey this is my movie. BACK OFF. Theme song would be this one...

James Morrison. Love him too! If you don't know his music you don't know what you're missing. He is awesome!

Now...I would love to interview you and you and you. So here is what you do:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."2.

I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So come on--let's get to know each other better. And do not fear potential questions--I promise to play very nice.

I need an outsider looking in

.Ok so I need some help. And I think you guys are just the ticket.

Early last year I decided to get all my hair chopped off due to seeing a girl at the Hospital that had this super cute haircut. So I went and had to convince my stylist to chop it all off. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. But she cut it off.

I was brave I didn't cry or anything. But when I got home hubby wasn't exactly over the moon with my new do. He likes it but he's never loved it.

So anyhow I need a haircut. But I kind of want to let it grow long again. So if I want to do that then I shouldn't get it cut but just lightly trim the ends off.

The boys don't like it short and my best friend doesn't like it either.

So this is where ya'll come in.

Look at the pictures below. Leave me a comment and let me know which you like better.

Don't look at the super goofy faces. Sometimes I like to take pictures of myself cause well I'm cool like that. HA Ok never mind just look at the hair. JUST the hair folks.

This picture just says "I am over the moon in love" don't you think so?

I really need that tan right about now. Phew look at all those freckles!

I know you're laughing with me on this one. Just look at the HAIR people!

Now for some short and sassy!

Cheesy!

Just me... I can't help that I'm cute.

Ok I need some opinions. I can take criticism. Just be a gentle.

With the rising Sun

On days when the sunlight shines through the window and warms my face as I lay in bed. Opening my eyes and hearing the deep breaths coming from my husband as he lays beside me in peaceful slumber. It is then that I thank God for this day.

There are alot of nights that I can't sleep. These are the nights that I lay next to my love and watch him sleep. I find myself studying if you will. The shape of his lips, the smell of his skin, every laugh line upon his face, the pattern of his breathing, the way him and the dog alternate snores.

There are so many things I want to remember for myself and for the boys.

Like how contagious his laugh is, the way that every night before bed he has oreo's for a snack, and the fact that through it all his Faith in God has never wavered.

Richard has said many times that if one person came to know Jesus by all that he has gone through then all this is worth it. He is so right.

We can't waste anything, in everything we need to give God the Glory he deserves.

P.s. Wanted to let everyone know that I was wrong about Richard seeing the Doctor on Tuesday to get the results. Richard's appointment actually isn't until Thursday. Sometimes my days all run together.

God ALWAYS works it out!

If you have been reading my blog for anytime at all you know that we are leaving to go to Disney in 34 days. You also know that I currently do not have a camera except for the one on my cell phone. Which is not a camera at all. My Kodak point and shoot that I had died. My hubby who likes to think he is Mr. Fix it suffered a very "shocking experience" while trying to fix it. We have been pinching pennies and saving for our Disney trip. I intended on buying a new camera but I just couldn't seem to work it into my budget before our date to leave. So I figured I would just buy some disposables and be done with it. Well God had another plan.

The other day I told you all about my new friend Shelley over at a sister for the bean and her huge adoption raffle to bring baby Claire home from Korea. And that you should go check it out. And if you bought raffle tickets for $5 dollars each your name went into the pot to possibly be the winner of this amazing Camera package.

Well needless to say God led me to Shelley's blog for a reason because he knows that I can't refuse trying to win a camera of my dreams. And that if I'm able I'll enter. I'm telling you he knows all. So I went and sure enough after seeing what God loving people they are I knew I had to give. Not just for the camera but because it touched my heart.
'
I stayed up late tonight, biting my fingernails, eating oreo's and praying that maybe it would be mine. And sure enough... it is.

Thank you Shelley. I know it wasn't you, rather the random thingy. But I am beyond elated that it chose me. I promise to take tons of pictures while at Disney and that I will now have more memories to look back on in the days ahead thanks to you. I am honored to know that I had a small part in helping to bring sweet baby Claire home where she belongs with you. So glad I found you and that I can follow this journey you guys are on. Much love my new friend!

Please continue to pray for Richard. He has had a little bit of a better day today. Not quite as much pain. Praise God. But it is still there none the less. I can look at him and tell he isn't feeling well. The eyes give it away. He's also anxious to find out the results and what if anything can be done. He's worried that depending on what we find out that we may not be able to take our trip to Disney next month. (thank goodness for Disney travel insurance. If we have to cancel we will be able to reschedule for a later date) We are trying to stay positive because neither of us want to have that talk with the boys and see the disappointment that will surely come. So we are going to continue to pray. I don't believe that God has blessed us beyond measure with all this for us to not be able to go. But Richard's health has always been first and foremost above all else and we would like for him to be feeling as good as possible so that he will enjoy it. And like the title of my post... God ALWAYS works it out!

Pumpkins have Birthday's too

Recognize the person above?

Of course you do. It's Lizzie keeper of the Hot Tub. She's my pumpkin. My Sister from another Mister if you will.

Lizzie is the epitome of what a good friend is. Grant it we met through blogging just a few short months ago. It seems like so much longer than that. I have had the opportunity to meet her in real life a few times now. She is genuine, honest and wonderful. And she gives the best hugs ever. The kind of hugs that don't let go until you're ready. The kind of hugs that let you know just how much she really loves and cares about you.

When I am having a bad day I can count on Lizzie to make me laugh by sending me a joke or two. Or an IM just to see how things are going. And you best believe when I go a few days without blogging Lizzie is checking in on me to see what is going on.

So go say Happy Birthday to Lizzie! What are you waiting on.

Lizzie,

I hope your Birthday is just as wonderful as you are. I love you more than coffee and the green straws at Starbucks. Dude that is a lot. You know that. However my hubby had something he wanted to say too.

Love ya bunches! Your,

Kori~kins

Waiting is for the Birds!

So we went and saw the Nurse Practitioner. She felt and pushed and I thought Richard was going to come up and knock her out. But he didn't. He was good.

Anyhow she left and called the Doctor. He wants Richard to have another CT scan. So that is scheduled for in the morning. Then we go next Tuesday to see the Doctor to go over the report and hopefully find out what is causing the Hubby so much pain.

Richard has an extremely high tolerance to pain. So when he says something hurts. You better bet your bottom it hurts. It breaks my heart to see him going through all this. I just pray there is something they can do to at least make it more tolerable.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Just when things are looking up...

WHAM!!!!

So things have been going along pretty well here lately. With everything... work, boys, Richard and I. Ya know it seemed like things were "normal" somewhat.

But all good "normal" things must come to an end I suppose.

Richard hasn't been feeling all that great for a few days. I've noticed, but when I would ask he would just brush it off as nothing or my favorite excuse "it's just the weather."

I knew better. Ya know us wives... we know.

Anyhow my honey's CF has been flaring up but not enough for him to have to go in just yet. Although I am sure a Hospital visit is in our near future before we leave to go to Disney.

It's the Cancer end of things that seem to be causing my Mr. Wonderful some new troubles. He's having a little bit more pain here recently. And he is having what he calls an indescribable feeling in his lower abdomen. Like a pulling or tugging sensation. It's not comfortable for him.

He called the Oncologist office today and he goes in to see them tomorrow at 1:20. And then they will determine if he needs a scan. They'll probably do some routine blood work and such.

I have never known anyone in my life more in tune with their body than Richard. He knows when something is wrong. He knew he had Cancer 3 months before the Doctors did. He just knows when things are wrong with him.

We have read a lot and been told a lot about his cancer and we know that as it progresses it produces a thick fluid type substance that fuses things together. Such as intestines, organs and such. Richard feels as though this may be what is happening. But we don't know that yet. Staying positive.

God still has His plan. His love is greater than any I have ever known.

I trust Him. My Faith will not faulter.

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Ok God I'm trying... I'm trying. Love you,

Sister for Bean!

So this morning I was reading some blogs and I always read MckMama's. I have never not once commented. I also have never participated in Not Me Monday. Haha... I know I need to quit being a lurker.

Anyhow this morning she blogged about Claire's Super Huge Adoption Raffle-Raiser and the opportunity to win an awesome Canon prize pack.

And well you guys know I am in desperate need of a camera with our Angel Disney trip fast approaching. And what better to try and win one other than helping in Claire's adoption process.

Even if I don't win at least I know I had a hand in doing a small part to help bring Claire home.

I do hope you will stop over and check it out.