Dear Family and Friends,

We would like to take this time to update you on Richard's condition. After seeing the Oncologist on Thursday we learned that the cancer is growing at an alarming rate. As he now has more tumors in the abdomen than before and the ones that have been present have grown in size more than 50 percent from the last CT scan he had done 6 weeks ago.

Also at this last visit the Doctor talked to us about Hospice care, he would like for us to start interviewing some organizations to better determine which one would be suited for our family. We expect that Richard will be on Hospice within the next couple of months as his body continues to fail him. The reality of what is happening is really starting to set in with us as we see the changes that are taking place with his health more on a daily basis now.

We know that God has given us the strength and energy to get through the difficult days and He will continue to do so as we face the days ahead. We would not be able to get through this if it were not for God's grace and we are so blessed to have so many people going to God on our behalf. Please continue to pray for us, pray for wisdom for the doctors as they continue to treat and care for Richard, and strength of spirit as we move closer to the end of this journey and into another.

We are overwhelmed by all of the offers to help us in more tangible ways. There have been several people that have offered to make meals and to care for the boys in the days ahead. We are truly touched.

However that is not where our greatest need lies. Our greatest need is financial, as we face the days ahead their will come a time when I will have to take off work to better care for Richard.

Recently, at the urging of family and friends we got with Wachovia Bank and set up a Trust Fund to help with any financial needs when that time comes. If you would like to make a tax-deductible Charitable Contribution you may do so by going to any Wachovia Bank branch and making a deposit into the

"McCulley Family Trust."

If you do not have a Wachovia bank in your area and would still like to make a contribution you can do so by sending a check or money order to...

McCulley Family Trust
P.O. Box 261
Graysville, Alabama 35073

Please include your address so that we may send you a receipt for tax purposes.

We thank you in advance for your support during this time. May God continue to bless you.

All our love, The McCulley's

If any of you would like to post about this on your blog, please feel free.

Update & Interview my Hubby

At the Doctor's office today, we did talk quite a bit about Hospice Care. He wants us to interview Hospice Organizations to see which one we like the best and which one will offer the most support for our family considering that we do have children in the house.

When we go back on July 9th he wants us to have a decision as to which one we would like to go with. Depending on how Richard seems to be doing when we go back he will then make the call about starting Hospice. We did find out that the Doc will be able to still follow Richard and see him if need be while he is on hospice. This news made us both feel a little better.

We did keep our appointment with the Funeral Home today. It wasn't as bad as I psyched myself up to expect it to be. Neither one of us shed a tear. It was very cut and dry. And since we know the Funeral Director it was pretty painless and it took all of about 15 minutes to shop for a casket, vault and memorial package.

Now that we have gotten the update out of the way. I have something else for you guys.

Several of you have asked about Richard maybe doing a guest post on my blog. Well I talked to him about it and he thought an interview would be better for him.

So he wants you guys to ask the questions. Ask him anything and he says he will answer it. (maybe I should sneak my own personal questions in there. lol)

So shoot, ask away.

A Request

Right now as you read this I am leaving a meeting at work.

Walking through the second floor crosswalk to meet my husband and Mother-in-law at the Oncology Doctor's office.

I just ask that you pray for us as we listen to what the Doctor tells us, pray for strength as we accept whatever he feels our next step is.

We are leaning on God and His plans no matter what we hear today He is the one in control.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Breathe

I am a planner and a do-er.

I am quite possible the most OCD person I know when it comes to planning things.

I plan weekends way in advance and now alot of those plans go undone.

I do things to keep my mind busy, here lately I notice that it's not that easy anymore.

Last week I talked with my good friend J. She is the coordinator for Palliative Care here at the Hospital.

I needed answers. Answers that I feel like we're not getting from the Doctor. I need a plan. I have to know that we have a plan.

I feel like when we go to see the Doc on the 28th, that since we're not having a scan or labs done that he is probably going to go ahead and release Richard over to Hospice Care to help with his pain management. To better prepare us for what is ultimately just looming around the corner.

I know that Hospice doesn't mean the end. It's just to prepare and have a plan in place as Richard's illness progresses.

I am starting to notice some physical changes that are taking place with him. His arms and legs are becoming much thinner as well as his face has slimmed down some. But his belly is so distended, it sticks way out there.

The other night after Jacob's art show when we got home the power was out in the neighborhood. The boys were off playing outside enjoying whatever daylight was left and the Hubby was laying on the Couch and I was on the love seat.

It was Dark in the house except for a little light still coming through the screen door. It was quite. But then out of nowhere I heard these words.

"I know I don't have 6 months left"

I couldn't speak, I couldn't get past the lump in my throat. Ya know the Doctor has been telling us that he doesn't expect Richard to be here at Christmas and to enjoy our time as a family.

I cried as I felt the confirmation of what was truly happening to us overwhelm me.

Then my husband began to speak some more.

"Baby don't cry, this life here is just temporary. I can't even begin to fathom what it's going to be like in Heaven and to see our maker's face. How wonderful it will be."

All I could say was this.

"I love you so very, very much. I can't imagine it either. I will miss you with every ounce of my being but, I wouldn't wish you back here to this place to have to continue to go through all this. I wouldn't cause yes, this place is only temporary.

Then I had to remind myself to Breathe.

7 Months

Is a long time for a girl to go without getting her hair done.

During those 7 months I have had a couple of quick haircuts as well as some at home coloring.

Thanks to my Hubby forcing me out the door I went and got beautified.

I'm telling you there is nothing like getting your hair done at the Salon.

My Stylist is wonderful. She has been doing my hair for about 3 years now. Not only does she do my hair but she teaches my oldest about Jesus during Sunday School. I love her.

I go in and I always tell her the same thing.

"I don't care what you do, just make it cute and a little funky."

So I give you...

Before

(not cute, nor funky)

After

I am loving the blonde and red highlights as well as the little bit of side swept bangs.

I am so ROCKING this new do!

Happy Mother's Day Daddy!

In 1989, 20 years ago, I was away spending the night with my bestest friend Tabitha. We were both 9 at the time. We were staying at a condo on St. Augustine Beach.

I remember playing in the salty water and it still being cool since it was only April, the greasy feeling of the sunscreen, feeling the heat radiate off my sun burnt face despite the sunscreen.

I remember the weather was beautiful, the sky the bluest of blue. I remember staying up late watching none other than my favorite movie of all time the Wizard of Oz. I remember laughing and giggling under the covers when we were told to go to sleep.

I remember being shaken awake by Tabitha's Mother telling me I had to go home, she had to take me home now. I remember it still being dark out and the clock reading 4:00 Am.

I remember the talk that we had during the drive back to Starke, Florida where we lived at Kingsley Beach. The talk about God and how sometimes he does things we don't quite understand. I remember the reassurance in her voice as she told me that I was going to be a beautiful woman someday despite everything that was fixing to happen.

I remember pulling through the gate at Kingsley Beach and everyone standing there with long faces. I remember Nancy my Mom's best friend and Tabitha's Grandmother coming to get in the car with me. I remember the silence before she could find the words to say.

I remember this... "Kori there was an accident last night and your Mom, she didn't make it. She's gone honey."

I remember the salty tears that felt hotter than ever on my sun burnt face.

I remember waiting in the diner for my Dad. I remember when my Dad walked around the corner and his eyes met mine and we both began to cry.

I remember my Dad swooping me up into his arms and hugging me and weeping into my hair.

I remember walking to the end of the pier out into the middle of the ocean with my Dad. I remember sitting there on the end with our feet dangling in the cool water, holding hands and not speaking a word.

I remember all the days that followed that one terrible day.

I remember starting a new School and moving in with my Dad permanently, not just for a visit.

I remember Mother's Day every year beginning in 1989. I was in the 3rd grade and all the other kids were making pretty pink cards for their Mother's.

Mine was made from light blue construction paper and it read...

Happy Mother's Day Daddy!

I love you more than there are grains of sand.

Love, Kori

Every year since then, every card has read the same.

Wishing you all a wonderful Mother's Day!

Hey all you crafty peeps!

I want to do a Bedroom redo. Now I don't have money for new furniture and things like that. But I can afford a few cans of paint.

I have a headboard, dresser with mirror, nightstand and a armoire.

They all have mirrored glass inserts. It's a little 90-ish and I want to modernize it. I'm thinking of painting it robins egg blue then black over the blue, distressing it a little so the blue underneath will show through and adding some new more modern knobs and pulls. But the glass inserts are stumping me. It has like this decorative gold design around the edges. Even my big mirror on the dresser has this design. The inserts on the armoirs and the dresser I thought I might could decoupage with some kind of decorative paper that would match. But what can I do about this mirror? Can I even decoupage over glass? Can I tape off the gold part and paint over it like paint a border around the mirror. Ooo a border. I could maybe get some strips of molding or wood cut to size and put a frame around the mirror. Hmmm...See I am not that crafty and I need lots of creative ideas.

HELP?????

If I need to I will take some pictures for you guys to really understand what I'm talking about.

We have lived in our house for almost 8 years and every wall is still white except for Jacob's room.

My plans for the summer months are to add some color to the walls and do some rearranging and redecorating. Ya'll get ready cause I'm gonna be asking for lots of advice.

Quick

Well yesterday was the day that a certified letter was sent to my Ex. Hopefully he will sign the consent relinquishing his parental rights. He has 30 days to respond. I am nervous, he has never made anything easy for me. I just pray that for once in his life he will do the right thing and let Richard the only Dad they know, adopt them.

Richard is about the same. There hasn't been any new increases with his pain medicines in the last week and a half. He still hurts and is uncomfortable but it seems to be a little bit more tolerable than before. I just pray that he doesn't become immune to the new increase for a while.

The boys went away over the weekend. So I surprised my hubby with a night away at a nice Hotel in the city with some extra money I had saved for spur of the moment memory making. He was definitely surprised and we really enjoyed our night away from the house alone.

Oh and I went to the Doctor Friday and you all be glad to know that I am now on a sleeping medicine. So no more 2 hour a night sleeps for me. The last couple of nights I have slept better than I have in probably 8 months or more. YAY FOR SLEEP!

Hope all is well with everyone. I know I haven't been around much lately things have been a little crazy.