Ya know my kids don't get alot during the year. They rarely ask for anything. Of course they get new shoes for school. And usually new clothes except this year they didn't. But that was ok a lot of their clothes from last year still fit because they are tall and lanky. So that was good. And not to mention the coule of hundred dollars I had to shell out for School supplies.
Christmas is fast approaching. And I just don't know if it is going to happen at our house. The boys are getting older and the things that they ask for are expensive.
My flexible spending account at work ran out about 2 months ago and it won't pick back up until the new year starts in January. So any extra has been going to co-pays, prescriptions and hospital bills. I have been bringing my lunch to work to try and save whatever I can which in turn ends up going into my gas tank or groceries to feed my growing boys and husband.
I know that Christmas isn't supposed to be about gifts and such. But my boys deserve to have a good Christmas especially after the year we've had.
I guess you could say I'm stressing a little. Ok... a lot.
Am I the only one feeling the crunch of the holidays? Do you set a budget? If so how do stay within that budget?
The main 2 things that Jacob wants, one is close to 200 bucks and the other is 60 bucks. I mean 260 dollars for 2 things under the tree is it just me or is that insane? And that's only Jacob, grant it Calob's stuff isn't too bad. How do you even set a budget with things being so outrageously priced?
I know all of us want our kids to have everything their hearts desire at Christmas but with prices like these is that really possible?
6 months ago
32 comments:
Someone posted this suggestion for Christmas and if I had kids I would totally do it. Each kids get three gifts. Once you get one from each category, then you can repeat until you hit your spending limit.
1. Something they want
2. Something they need
3. A book
I love it. We do set a spending limit and it's SO hard to keep. I hate being broke each January because I don't just have Christmas, but EVERYONE in my family had birthdays between October and January.
hang in there!
We have the same problem around our house. I choose ebay, the great place that it is. I try to find deals and usually can find them after some searching. Who cares if they are gently used, the kids will be happy and you will feel better about your situation.
I'm stressing because we are going to spend $450 a week for daycare starting in January. Fortunately, our kids don't really want gifts yet.
But, maybe you could hunt around for some good deals. With the economy the way it is, there might be some serious sales!
Good luck!
Maybe a gift swap where you each draw a person and you only do one gift?
Yes, I feel the crunch, terribly. It worries me, stresses me out. I do surveys throughout the year and the points from that are usually worht a couple of things; I joined a DVD clud where I got three free for joining (which was a $10.00 fee0, then I ordered two more so now I can cancel and we got 5 movies for under $20. MyPoints is good, and our grocery store offers points per dollars spent. Am embarrassed to admit that I don't actually SPEND a lot of $$, because I just don't have it. I hear you, and if I could I would send you all I had so the boys and you could have a best Christmas ever.
Seriously feeling it.
M has flipped through the TRU and Wal-Mart ads telling me everything she wants. If I added it all up, it would totally be over $1,000.
Can we say uh, no?
It seems every toy she wants is $59.99 and over! Crazy I tell ya!
She'll be lucky if she gets anything.
I'm having a hard enough time trying to find money to get her brother here for Christmas.
I so know where you're coming from. We have 4 kids together and I always try to spend as close as possible the same amount of money on each of them, also have a new son in law this Christmas!
We aren't going to buy alot or pay alot, we just don't have it either. We have started playing dirty santa at my parents and my inlaws, that helps alot.
With Molly this year we're lucky she wants as she says "A ton of silly putty" (the child just loves that stuff) she wants lots of pez candy dispensers (she wants to collect those, she already has probably 15 or so). And she wants a Claire's gift card. Of course I'll buy her more than silly putty and pez but for that to be all she's worried about is good. I'm hoping deep down Santa can bring her a laptop, she really needs her own for her hospital stays. Just have to see what Santa has left in the budget.
What I'm ready for most is Steve to have a Christmas off work, can't believe his company doesn't shut down for Christmas day, he's had to work the last 2 or 3 Christmases, has to work this year too, just doesn't seem like Christmas with him working. :-(
The whole holiday has gotten out of control really! I am thinking of going back to basics and teach my kisd about giving to others instead of getting for themselves.
I had to sign up to be one of those people on an angel tree...
Cuase i needed my ego beat up more than it has been this year.
But it's for my girls. And I want them to have something.
It's also Essie's birthday on Dec 2nd so I have that to contend with too!
This is a super hard issue. My oldest is 5 this year, so this is really the 1st time I've had a child who gets that presents are coming his way (before they're all wrapped and under the tree).
Here is something we started last year. The kids only get 3 gifts from us (no way to control grandparents, so I'm not going to try). This was to reiterate that Jesus received 3 gifts. Last year we even opened 3 gifts on Christmas Eve so they were separated out. Timothy has already figured out the whole "wish list" thing, and I've explained that it can be as long as he wants it to be, but mom and dad will pick 3 things from it. That gives us the ability to play w/in a budget (I try to shoot for $100/kid)that way. I do stockings, so those will include small presents if I have extra budget room or cheap filler stuff. Timothy will get a bike ($70), helmet/pads ($20), and probably a game for $10.
I know this doesn't help you if everything your child asks for is expensive! We were hoping to get a Nintendo Wii for T for Christmas ($250 for console, plus $50 for Mario Kart game). T has been saving money since the summer (b-day and allowance), and then we were going to "match" it. Thankfully we never told him we would match it because we are totally not prepared to come up with $300 just for him. We're just going to keep giving him a dollar here and there until it's all saved up. Besides the financial strain, we didn't want the stress of finding the Wii at Christmas time.
One more thought is that if you know those 2 items totaling $260 are really what Jacob wants, encourage grandparents (and any other gift givers) to donate money towards that. Print out a nice chart so he can actually see pictures of who all contributed.
Not trying to oversimplify it because I know it's hard, but I hope someone gives you at least one idea you can use! This was a great question to bring up!
Usually I don't pay attention to what I spend, b/c it's just me and hubby. He doesn't buy gifts for his family (they're Jewish, and kind of gave up gift giving when they were kids), so it's just us, my family and his niece/nephew. But this year. . .my FSA ran out as well, I have to pay $300+ now for each monthly ultrasound, hubby is unemployed, and I just found out that if my babies are preemie, it could cost upwards of $1 million EACH for NICU care, not counting the surgery Baby A will need to repair her head issue. So. . .I'm thinking this year I will do what I hate, and get my husband a Christmas/birthday/anniversary present (they're December, January & February) all in one, so I can at least pool my resources and get him something good. And hope he gets a job.
Have you thought about doing the adopt a family thing through local organizations, or maybe submitting the kids' names to the Salvation Army gift tree? Some people will give a lot, and others won't, but it'd be gifts, and I guess learn a lesson about true Christmas spirit.
We do something similar to what your first poster said and limit the gifts to 3 items.
We have the kids make a wish list. And there is nothing wrong with putting a price limit on that list. Telling the kids, everything on your wish list has be under $30 for example. It makes them evaluate their wants a bit more. I take them to Target and let them look around, or do some searching on the internet. We will buy them ONE item off their wish list.
Then we get them ONE thing that they really need. Not want, need. This is usually pajamas or clothing. Nothing wrong with bargain shopping for this.
Finally we get them ONE educational or family friendly gift. Like a book, or a game or puzzle that everyone can enjoy.
They are also included in the shopping for their siblings. They end up getting more excited about finding something for their siblings than they do about their own wish list.
Hey Kori...I know exactly how you feel. Luckily, Z is little and doesn't ask for anything....yet. SO, he doesn't know that he's not getting a lot.
I know your kids have been through a lot and they do deserve a lot. Can you explain to them that they can have one thing (if its expensive) and then try to work out a plan to get them something else after Christmas...you know....when its 50% to 75% cheapers. I know in the future Z and I are going to have to work things out that way sometimes....
As far as my family goes now....we all draw names and spend $50 on one person. Then we all buy gifts for the kids. That saves a lot of money...and stress.
Oh, and I agree with Krystn.....you can bet there will be TONS of good sales this year....the stores are going to be hurting and they know it....so definitely keep your eyes open and shop around.
If is wasn't for our Christmas budget, we would be sunk. Years and years ago we started a savings for our Christmas. $30 out of each of my checks and more out of hubbys. This is the only way we can have Christmas. This has been a life saver or should I say Christmas saver.
Start one the first check after Christmas and DO NOT TOUCH IT until Nov 1 of next year. DO NOT SKIP this "payment".
Good luck this year AND next!!
Kori
This is definetely hard. I think a lot of people are in the same situation...but when I was young probably around Jacob's age, my parents had to have "the talk" with us. There was really no other way around it. My parents just didn't have the money to give us a lot of what we wanted. They gave us a budget of what we could have. Asked us to pick our favorite things that would fit in that budget and then they choose from that what they gave us. The only surprise we had was a stocking and my mom was cute with those, but just regular stuff--nothing boys would like, but nail polish, candy, cool pens, pez, toothbrush, haha, just little stuff! Im sorry Kori, I wish I could help you and give you everything that you needed! Loves girl!
honey, I feel your pain... my kids want a Wii or an Xbox or a Baby CHoo doll that costs $75... I quit my job to be able to stay home with them and our newborn baby, and when we made this decision we told them that it would effect things like eatingout and huge Christmas's.... we are feeling the pinch... we are trying to eat as budget freindly as we can... meaning some meals are meatless, and pasta is popular, not to my hips, but budget freindly... also we are adopting an angel off of the Salvation army tree, so they can see that other kids have it far worse than them... I'll pray for you and you can pray for me...
For us, only Santa brings presents. And just like the Wise Men brought Jesus, they get only three. We're lucky that we aren't so strapped as you're describing... but it's rough to disappoint anyone. And inevitably they'll be disappointed with something. But they'll love something else. Are they mature enough to have a conversation about what is and isn't feasible in terms of spending? BUT I definitely applaud your idea of setting a limit and not going into debt to give your kids a few moments of happiness and everyone else a ton of stress! Good luck....
I understand everything you are saying. Sorry I don't have any good words of advice. Best of luck to you and your family. Sending prayers your way.
Angela
www.phoenixsfight.blogspot.com
This is what a very wise Melissa from Another Day in Paradise told me:
Something they need, something they can read and one thing they want.
We are having a tough time financially this year as well and will set a spending limit for the first time ever and it's disappointing to say the least. HOWEVER, we have talked with our kids and let them know how extremeley tight money is this year and they understand that Christmas is all about Christ, and not the presents. And that when we can afford more, we will. But for this year, we will do what we can afford. NO credit.
Hi...wish I had some wonderful brillant words here....but I don't. This economy is hard for so many and you have so much to be concerned about on top of that. I guess I would try to talk to the kids explaining some of the situation...not all, and then set some kind of guidelines. I bet your kids will understand better than you think they will.
AND There will be better Christmases to come.
But I can tell you over the years...some of my best memories of Christmas...were the years with the least money spent on gifts.
I hope things get better for you. I know you don't know me, but I do check about you and your family.
I try to set a budget... but sometimes I go over.
I've found this suggestion:
Say you have a budget of $50 to spend on your sister... you find the perfect sweater for her that is regular price $49.99 but its on sale for $29.99
So get the sweater... and even though you've only spent $30 on it. DON'T feel like you have to buy another $20 gift (which I would find hard not to do). The sweater is a $50 value... so your goal is met and your sister doesn't know what you actually paid for it.
Does that make sense?
And I stress a lot, too... I try to make sure both girls have the same number of gifts to open. And the same type of gift. So that one girl isn't opening more toys than the other.
I know, I'm crazy.
this is a tough one. we are feeling the same thing here. i am going to try an dmake most of our gifts this year, lots of baking, lots of sewing, lots of crafting. i most def thing EVERYONE is feeling the crunch.
for me it's the magic of it all. and sometimes it is that special-can't-imagine-ever-getting-it present that makes the day magical. so yea, lots of mommy guilt there...but it is what it is and even after months of sacrificing and pinching pennies thinking it would mean a fatter more magical Christmas, i realized all that it really did was keep out heads above water.
i guess i should just count my blessings.
I feel your pain too.
I wrote about this very same thing on my blog today! We normally spend way too much at Christmas because we wan Emma to have fun. But with the bad economy, I think we will actually set a limit this year.
I think we are all feeling the cruch to some extent. For me, I've always set a budget and tried to stick to it. Even if I go it's not by much on the higher budgeted people (like stepson, stepdaughter) and I try to keep it all in perspective.
For example, I have a new granddaughter but she will only be 3 months old...I'm not going to spend a pile of money on her since she has more than enough from the babyshower and she doesn't know the difference anyway.
We *try* to only spend cash/debit because I hate to have debt following me into the new year.
My advice would be to buy what you can afford, be honest with the boys and let them decide what they really want and then leave all the extras for when you can afford them better. Shop around! Stores will be giving major discounts or incentives because they want you there. Use any accrued points (from rewards programs) to get some gift cards to supplement your budget (we did!) and most of all. Relax your kids will still love you no matter what.
I have my kids (who are old enough to write) make a list.
1. Something you want
2. Something you need
3. Something to wear
4. Something to read
This way no one is disappointed....unless...the something they want is outlandishly expensive. Michael usually has several things on his "wants" list and I warn him in advance that he will probably not get the most expensive thing on there. I also send their lists to the grandparents. That helps us a lot. Being on a pastor's salary has always kept us on a very tight budget. Usually Eric and I forego gifts for each other so that the kids don't go without.
I'm all for putting things in perspective. There are so many in this world who don't even have the basics. I try not to stress that my kids won't "get" everything they want. We been so indoctrinated in our culture to think our kids are deprived if they don't get exactly what they want. The worst day for me is about 3 days after Christmas when they are all fighting and getting things taken away for not being thankful for what they have. Every year I tell myself, I will never stress out over Christmas again. And yet, every year when Christmas rolls around, I find myself fearing that my children are going to be disappointed in what they receive, because it wasn't exactly what they wanted. It's a difficult thing to deprogram.
We follow Christs' example. The wise men brought three gifts to the Christ child so three is all that my kids get. I follow the same thing too, each year they get1) clothes, 2) books, 3) a much wanted toy. Their Stockings are filled with toys and games - small ones and then we usually get something really fun as a family gift, a board game or some movies. Something that we can do together. I am with you, this year is going to be slim, I am cleaning houses to make some extra money for Christmas cause our budget cannot stretch any further.
You are in my prayers, that Christmas will have you all there to celebrate the season.
Ok this is what I do. My older 2 are 14 and 12 and what they want is out the wazoo and has been for the past 2 yrs. I start now with a budget for the older 2, the younger 2 are budgeted also but they're easy, 6 and 2 and their budget is way, way smaller. The big kids give me their list in Nov with the understanding they will not get it all so be sure and star the major wants. then I spend my evenings on ebay, craigslist, amazon and any place else that carries what they want. I am looking fro MEGA bargains. I decide what I want to spend on each gift. Then after Thanksgiving the real hunt is on but so are the bargains. And the big thing is to enlist your friends. Let them know what you are looking for and what you want to pay. They are to call if they find it. Even enlist people out of state that you will see prior to Christmas. Get EVERYONE in on it to help in the shopping. That way you are covering lots of bases and can find what you want in your price range.
I started reading all these comments earlier...and my life intervened :-)
So tonight on the way home from choir I asked the girls "if you could only have one thing for Christmas, what would you want?" With the caveats that it could not be alive or ridiculously expensive.
Madalyn said she wanted a Chick-fil-a. And Katie said Edward. Ahhhh...
But let me tell you that we have made a huge change to birthdays. We don't do gifts at all. We let the girls pick a charity and we give to that. If they have a party, we have the guests bring something to donate.
I am sorry that I don't have a magic answer...but all these comments are great!
It's so hard, because we all want to give our kids what they want for Christmas. It's the one time of year we don't worry as much about spoiling our kids just a little.
I try to set limits. And stay in budgets. It's hard, because I love to give. I love finding things to give to family.
I hear you. Chick wants a Wii. Plus a bunch of other things that are outrageously priced. It gets so much harder as they get older and then, because of the area we live in, she has a lot of friends whose parents' have a lot of money. I can't tell you how many times we have had to tell her, we are not keeping up with the S's parents. She knows this year will be slim. I have picked up a few things along the way that I know she will like. But I have warned her that there won't be much. Thankfully, she is old enough to realize. Plus, I tell her that things will be different next year (I am trying to remain positive). It isn't always going to be like this and we aren't always going to be living paycheck to paycheck and wondering if we have food on the table or electricity.
Another thing I have noticed with her the last year or so is that if she wants something that I say no to (like a new ipod when she already has one) she will save her money from birthdays, etc. She also does extra chores around the house to get a few dollars.
Also, now that she is older, I have suggested to family, that she would really appreciate gift cards rather than clothes that she won't wear, or something that would sit on a shelf and get no use.
I'm really fortunate that my older daughters have never really wanted expensive things or asked for much. I don't remember my son being asking for much either. My four year old is a different story.
This year, I will probably not spend over 100 dollars total on the girls. It is a very tight year because our med expenses have grow alot more. I know you know about how that works. Last year at this time, I had inherited money, so it was a stress free Christmas. But I actually don't stress so much for Christmas gifts, it is all the bills that come due that month. Taxes, vehicle renewal, dance recital money, those stress me out. My parents and my sister always gift my children with things they need such as clothing, so I don't have to worry about that. As far as saving money, I am horrible about that.
Have you tried Free Cycle to get things you might need? I need to try that as my girls don't have a bed right now. Their bunk beds broke and that is what I want to buy them for Christmas but I want to try getting a used one or free one first. I think that would be a good way to cut corners for household items I might need.
www.craigslist.org
Thats where I found Kenley's bed.
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