Beautiful Glimmering Circles of Hope

Today did not start off with with the greatest of ease. My alarm clock is possessed and instead of going off at the scheduled time of 5:15AM it decided to just hang out and wait till 5:50AM to start making that annoying buzzing noise.

So after running around the house grabbing clothes, applying makeup, and straightening hair we were off after stopping to pick up my wonderful Mother-in-law.

We arrive just a little behind schedule. Richard gets his labs done, has his CT scan and we wait and anticipate for the news the Doctor is going to give.

All I want is a glimmer of hope just to know that there has been a "good" change.

When the Doctor came in "good" was not a word used. There went my glimmer of hope.

Basically the tumors have grown some more (this time the doctor did not mention if there appeared to be even more than the last time) and they seen something in the lower part of one of Richard's lungs. The Doc would not elaborate as he is not certain it is more cancer or just some scar tissue from Richard's Cystic Fibrosis. They will be keeping an eye on it from scan to scan to see if there is any change.

He did tell us that there was 1 more treatment process we could try. But that the side-effects are not to be taken lightly. The main one is the lowering of white blood cells and making Richard more at risk for infection. Ok the problem with that is, Richard always have infection in his lungs, always. So by doing this treatment it could in turn cause an adverse effect with his CF. He said that they would start Richard on a lower dose than what they normally use and then raise it up as he goes along. We'll see what Richard decides to do.

As of right now he is not doing anything. We are going to wait and let his skin heal up and let him get back to his old self. On December 11th we go back once again for another scan and to see the Doctor. Richard will make his decision then as to whether or not he wants to pursue this treatment.

If he does or doesn't it will not change the fact that this is the last attempt at a glimmer of hope for just a little more time together. If he decides to go forward with the treatment he will not start it until after Christmas. His decision.

After we left we went out for Mexican just the 3 of us and talked about alot of things. I'm glad we did. I checked the mail when we got home it was bills, bills, and more bills. Ugh!

But in the midst of the bills there was a package from my wonderful friend Susie. After praying for the past few months for a glimmer of hope and still not getting one. It has been disheartening. My Faith has not wavered for I know who carries me when I am too weak to walk this path alone.

In my package was a lovely card and a pure white box.

My heart was touched by the sweet message I read within the card.

My spirit however was lifted and I could feel the love contained in the box as I seen

2 glimmering silver bracelets and one that was encircled with the word "Hope"

Thank you Susie for my lovely gift.

Thank you God for the message that was within the gift. You are Good All The Time!