Just got through seeing the Doctor. The scan showed that the largest tumor that was 2 1/2 centimeters has shrunk to 1 centimeter although all the others have pretty much stayed the same. Also there are more which mean it is still spreading. But the Doctor wants to have a conference with the Radiology team to review the scan. He said he is concerned and they look suspicious.
We are currently sitting in the waiting area at the Infusion lab. Richard has decided to do 6 more weeks of treatment. which is 3 treatments one every other week. He is already scheduled for other scan and to see the Doctor on November 3rd.
I'm really disappointed. I thought we would have seen a more significant change. But only one really showed any signs that the treatment is working. And it still continues to spread. Yeah I guess you can say I'm really disappointed. And maybe I think to much but I feel like if it's not working, I mean really working why does he still want to continue. Maybe I'm just being selfish but I would much rather have my husband feeling better and able to do stuff than not to be able to do anything and to feel like crap all the time. I am trying really hard not to bust into tears right now, not to let my frustrations get the better of me. Not to let Richard see how upset I am.
6 months ago
24 comments:
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. Psalm 42:1
I am praying his presence in the midst of your longing.
I wish I knew what to say, but I really don't. I'm sad for you, and praying alongside you. The only thing I know to say might sound really lame, but it was stated last night at church in a Bible study, and it was a good reminder to me that when things feel out of my control (which I never like, being the control freak that I am), there is Someone always in control. And although we might be surprised by things in life, He is NEVER surprised. And although we might think our will is the best route to choose, HIS WILL is always the absolute perfect answer.
Just know that there are a lot of people out in BlogLand thinking about you guys and praying for you.
I also am at a loss for words. No matter what I say nothing will ease your disappointment, your pain, and your worries. So, at ther risk of saying the wrong thing, just know I am thinking of you during this. And, am always an email away if you need a ear.
It's so hard to know what to say. Don't feel guilty for the way you are feeling ...it's absoloutly normal, especially in a situation where you personally, have no control. That's hard.
Praying for you and your family...
I wish I could just hug you right now. I cannot imagine how this disease is taking its toll on you and your family. Here is a prayer from my bible study this morning....Please know that you can email me at any time if you want to and that you and your family are in my prayers
God of all grace, give me your peace that passes understanding, the quietness that comes from friendliness with human beings, and may true divine friendship with you possess my soul; that I, withdrawn awhile from the turmoil of the world, may gather the strength that I have lost, and established and strengthened by your grace, pass on through all the troubles of this, my earthly life. Safe into the haven of your arms. Through Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.
Oh, Kori... I was so hoping for better news. Try not to worry too much (I know, famous last words) until you hear what the Radiology conference group says. Maybe there is more they can do?
You are not selfish. You are human. The treatment is working, just not like you expected it would. At least it has done something and even though the improvement was not significant, there were some changes. Maybe the next 6 weeks will be what kicks the changes into high gear.
I am going to send you an email with more thoughts...
I am sad with with you! Praying
I am so sorry. How incredibly frustrating and disappointing.
I hate that you and your sweet husband and boys are having to deal with any of this.
I am sorry that you are sitting there feeling helpless and scared.
Just know you are NOT alone- and we are praying.
My heart is breaking for you and crying out to God. Please know a special prayer will be lifted up for you and your family. Keep us posted.
Kori-
I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. I'm sure that Richard has prayed about his decision and that's why he decided it. I know that you wanted it to be his decision, too!
I am going to keep praying for all of you guys.
Take it one day at a time and enjoy each and every day!
Hey sweetie...
Like the others, I wish I had magical words that would "poof" make everything all better. If only allaczula menchikabula bibbity bobbity boo really worked...
One thing that works for me, and you can tell me to take a flying leap if you want, is to remember when I'm in a dark place that this isn't a surprise to God. He's not sitting there saying "WOW - I didn't see THAT coming." He knows. He loves.
Here's a big virtual hug for you!!
{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Hi again Kori,
I was sure hoping for better news...know that we're thinking of you guys.
Love and hugs,
Tracy
I am so sorry to hear the fear and pain and disappointment; I don't have any answers, no words of wisdom or even compfrt-just thoughts and prayers for you and Richard and ALL of you.
My prayers are with you!!
Hugs to you and your family, Kori. God is with you....give it all to Him!!! I'm so sorry you didn't get the news you were hoping for....If there is ever anything I can do.....please let me know!!!
Girl. I am so sorry. I want to say the perfect thing and there's nothing. I just adore you and it breaks my heart that your family is enduring this.
All my hope and strength is coming your way.
I continue to pray for you and Richard and the boys.
I pray that God would turn your disappointment into hope. I know it is discouraging to get this kind of news. I will just continue to lift you up.
2 Cor 12 :9, "And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
Kori-
I found you through Shelley and want you to kow that I, too, am lifting you guys up in prayer. Thankfully He sees the big picture and in our weakness He is strong. I am praying that God will give you the attitude you need to have and because He sees it, from beginning to end, you will be in unison with what He knows. I am so sorry that y'all are going through this. Thank you for allowing us to be blessed along ith you. Much love, jill.
Oh Kori...I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I wish I was there to give you a big hug. God is watching over you and will be there when you need him.
Take care and big hugz,
Michele
I'm so sorry to hear that it's spreading. I can't imagine having to put on a brave face through this. You're amazing.
Oh hun, I'm so so sorry to hear this news!! I would cry along with you, if there. :-(
I know nothing I say will ease your pain, however, just know I UNDERSTAND and I am thinking of you guys.
Kori -
I know we've only met a couple of times at GS walks, but I've known Richard since I was a little thing (probably since I was eight or nine years old). I found your blog off of Katey's, and I've been following everything, even though I don't comment. Just wanted you to know that I am keeping you, Richard, and your boys in my thoughts! Take care of yourself and take care of Richard ... he's an amazing guy and I've always looked up to him since he is the oldest of the "original" CF group (I was always the baby of the oldest group).
{hugs}
Brandi T.
You are and will continue to be in my prayers. I am sending you a ginormous hug right now.
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