Hatemail. Me? Really?

I have been keeping a little something in my back pocket for a while now. Debating if I should even bother replying. But ya know I have decided after much prayer that I am just gonna put it out there and be done with it. I mean what better way to do it than here at my blog. I mean this is where it all stems from anyway.

So here it goes. Hang on it's gonna be a very bumpy ride.

About a month or so ago I received an email. Okay so nothing unusual about that. I get emails from people I don't know pretty regularly. I mean my email is out there for anyone who wants it. Here I'll give it to you just so you won't have to look for it. It is cferswife@gmail.com send them on ya'll.

Ok so I proceed to open this email and I was flabbergasted.

The email said...

Anybody that knows anything about Cystic Fibrosis knows that you are a liar. Richard looks too healthy to have that deadly disease and I can't believe people actually fall for that. He's too old to have it and still be alive. It's horrible that you throw Cancer in the mix to really pull on peoples heart strings to try and get a handout. Is CF not enough for that? You should be arrested for taking advantage of people and playing with their emotions. It's also a shame that you use God the way you do to make people think that you are just so wonderful and holy when really you are nothing more than a worthless piece of trash.

So don't ya'll just think that is lovely? My very first hate mail. Guess I have reached RockStar status. Now I just need myself a stalker.

In all seriousness though. This has been a little disturbing to me. It really got me thinking how many people are reading my blog and thinking this way?

Then I stopped and prayed for them.

So to make me feel better I thought I would clear some things up.

Richard is 46 years old. He was diagnosed with CF when he was 3 back in 1965. His Mother was told then that he wouldn't live to graduate High school. He spent those next few years in and out of the hospital with bowel obstructions and alot of digestive issues. Up until he was 13 years old he slept every night in a mist tent. His first admission for a lung infection wasn't until he was 15. Ever since then he has gone in the hospital pretty regularly about every 3 to 4 months. We got married when I was 20 and Richard was 38. He was still going to Children's Hospital then. In 2001 the new CF center was opened at UAB Hospital and this is where he goes now. Richard has always been more healthy than some of the other CF's. He has lost many friends to this same dreaded disease. He watched his best friend Andrew die right in front of him. It's hard knowing that you have outlived alot of the friends you grew up with. I mean you develop relationships and strong bonds with these people that you spend 2 weeks with every couple of months. They become like family.

Just in the 8 years we have been married I can think of 4 that we have lost in that short period of time. Everyday someone dies from CF. Do you have any idea what it's like to pretty much know you are going to die by drowning in your own secretions? Richard has said many times he would rather get hit by bus than to die from CF. I guess when you are as old as he is and when you have lost so many people close to you from this, I think you have plenty a reason to feel that way. I have no reason to lie about this. My husband is one of the few that have lived past the life expectancy. We are more than thankful to God for everyday.

As far as the cancer goes. It is real. It is there. He is dying. I think it's wonderful that you think he looks so healthy. But you don't hear the cough that sounds like it hurts so bad. You don't see the pain in his eyes when he moves a certain way. You don't feel the warm tears as they fall on your cheek when he kisses you. You don't have to witness him taking something for pain that will hopefully just take the edge off enough to make it bearable. It's ME! But you know what. I wouldn't trade this life I have with him for anything. NOTHING.

Then there is the subject of taking advantage of people. Are you kidding me? This sentence has definitely been the most disturbing to me. I have never asked for anything EVER on my blog or anywhere else for that matter. I use my blog as a place to come and get my feelings out. When I first started this is was for nothing but the mere fact for me to be able to journal about this journey we are on. So family could follow up with us rather than me having to call them every time something new happened. I have blogged about the hardships of our family. It has been more than just a little rough. But I am so incredibly thankful for people that felt compelled to help us. It warms my heart to know that their are still people that believe in helping the fellow man/woman during hardships. That my friend is God. Without the gifts from strangers my kids wouldn't have had a Christmas. The trip to Disney blew us away. I have mentioned on my blog about how Richard has been wanting to do that with us. That is all I did. Next thing I know I am getting a phone call from a Travel Angel. I'm sorry if anyone looks at this as we are taking advantage of people. That is not my intention. Maybe I misunderstood but I thought this was MY blog and I could post about anything I wanted. Was I wrong?

Now for the most important subject matter... God. I do not use Him to make myself appear better. He my friend uses me and makes me a better person because of Him. He uses me.

I am thankful for this blog, the friendships I have made, the people I have met IRL.

If this is the only hatemail I get well I think I can handle it.