I had someone at work today who didn't know about Richard ask me how I was doing. And I spilled my guts. I mean really I just couldn't shut up. I wanted to. I needed to. And all the while she had this look. THE look. The look of pity. The look of sadness. The look of regretting asking me that question. I don't know what came over me. After I finished spilling my guts and she said the usual "Oh I'm so sorries" I then in turn apologized to her. I felt bad like I had hurt her feelings. Broken her heart. I don't like that look. It hurts. ALOT. The reason... because I feel it in me. I see it me in the mirror everyday. Everyday.
Richard goes tomorrow to have his MRI done to hopefully figure out where this headache is coming from that he has had for 3 weeks now.
I'm worried. I mean what if...
Ok not gonna think that way. Positive thinking is the key. Right? RIGHT
We're gonna continue to pray it up and trust in God's plan for our lives.
I know that it is only a matter of time before it is either the Cancer or the CF that will win this battle. I know this. We know this.
Are we ready? Absolutely not.
Are we scared? Yes.
Will we get through it? Of course with Him our God.
The other day Richard said this...
6 months ago
41 comments:
Saying a special prayer for you today and tomorrow! I left you an award on my blog. I know you have other things on your plate but you just popped into my mind with this one!
Still thinking of you constantly, I hope everything goes as well as possible tomorrow.
You are always in my prayers, so BIGGER prayers and hugs for tomorrow!!
saying a prayer right now Kori.
you are in my prayers always!!
ah yes, confession to the unknowing...been there. Done that.
The plan HE has in store for us is hard to see...a lot of the time i think...but it is His plan. I love you all and keep you in my prayers every day
SO MANY PRAYERS AND LOVE FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!
Lots and lots of love,
Emily
Ok, I keep starting things to type and erasing...just know I'm praying.
There are no words to decribe how my heart hurts for you and your family.......I am in total amazement at how strong you are and what an incredible faith you both have. That is what will see you through it all. God Bless!
At the end of everything you told that woman, you should have added, "Just kidding!" I bet the look on her face would have changed pretty fast...
hehe
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I think you need laughs right now more than anything though.
The getting there ... oh yes, that is the hard part. But in a way I think you've been given a gift to actually be aware that you're on this journey. I know, all of us are on this journey here on earth, but the vast majority of us don't think about it everyday. I imagine we'd all be kinder, more loving, more appreciative, more focused on God, if only we thought about it more seriously. And you may not know it, but YOU are a tremendous blessing ... to Richard, to your boys, to your friends ... to all of those you're sharing this journey with. So thank you Kori!
Still in my prayers.
Oh, honey, I hope you know that what we feel for you is not pity, or feeling sorry, it is compassion. And empathy.
I deal with the "getting there" every day at work. Been doing it for fourteen years. And Richard's comment has me sitting here with tears on my cheeks.
I love the song "I can only imagine". I think of that often, when I am thinking of my dad, or a particular patient. Or a family of a patient who has gone on.
The thing I pray most for you is peace. And comfort. You are in my thoughts DAILY.
Thinking of all of you and sending positive vibes and the power of prayer your way!
xoxo
Bless your ever loving heart.
And Richard hit the nail right on the head.
Prayers for your family my dear.
Yes, getting there is the hardest part. Unfortunately that's part of the plan for all of us. And you are doing the best you can by relying on your faith and God. I pray that there will be answers tomorrow so that Richard can feel better and so that you can enjoy you holidays together. And on a different note, I am loving reading all the Secret Santa posts. SO fun to watch! Wish I would have had time to do it to. Next time!!!
I know its so hard. I pray for you all the time. Hugs
Thinking and praying for your family today. Hugs!
Anyone dealing with all that you're dealing with deserves HUGE heaps of compassion and love. You have maintained such a strength in spite of all your "weakness".
What Richard said made my eyes fill with tears.
Prayers and love hurtling your way.
Kori -- I know exactly what you mean! Hang in there sister and don't apologize for your feelings. You're allowed to have those feelings and I'm convinced that sharing them is the only way to survive this. Richard is wise beyond words and he is so blessed to have you there with him!
Big hugs!
Rene
I read this post last night. And I just didn't know what to say. So I thought I would come back today and just let you know that I continue to think about you.
And after reading your comments...I love what Rhea said. Love it. Because there is so much that laughter can do. Shannon, Angie and I are planning to meet in January - and I think a little Mommy blabber therapy is just the ticket.
And I also love what Linda said. Because she is so right. We are all here for a limited time. Most of us never even think about it.
I wish I had words of wisdom or insight. But I continue to pray. And lend an ear. And a shoulder. Whenever you need it.
I am praying for you Kori. Hope everything turns out okay...
Not sure what to say but I continue to pray for you...I hope you get great news today.
i am praying for y'all every day.
don't apologize to yourself or anyone else - it's your story right now, and it's tough as hell, and the fact that you are in many of your routine activities is healthy. They will see you in a new light. I read this quote this morning, "When you take the time to travel with reverence, a richer life unfolds before you." ~o'dOnohue
There is a special reverence and richness in your life right now, I pray the spirit whispers to you and Richard the riches that come only from that reverence.
Prayers from Your Brother in Christ
I love you sweetie.
just stopping by to see how things went today! Prayers!
Richard, it is the getting there that is hard for him (and for you). I will continue praying...I know it hurts!
Your story belongs to you, you are free to share whenever your cup is full. We love and support you!
Your family is in my prayers!
Praying for you and your family. Have a WONDERFUL, and MEMORABLE Chritmas season, and cherish all your time together as a family. That is what truly matters the most! Good Luck...
Just Hugs.... You know I am thinking of you always.
Richard is a very smart man. Getting there is the hard part.
Love you and think about you everyday. Hugs and hope girl, comin' your way.
Will continue to pray for strngth and beauty even in the midst of all of this.
I think about you guys a lot and hope you are doing okay. I'm still praying for a miracle.
Sharing your pain. Prayers for you.
go to my blog :)
I have that happen often when I just open up to someone random. Sometimes it's easier to talk to people you don't know really well. I think that's why blogging is so much fun!
You just keep on doing what you need to do, no apologies, just prayers.
I can't and won't pretend to know how you are feeling, but one thing I do know is that you are surrounded by the love and compassion of others who feel not pity, but sadness. Most folks don't know how to help, but they really, really want to help.
What if you started meeting "The Look" with a suggestion of a way that person could help you? It's an idea, and I guarantee the other person would leave that conversation feeling purposeful. And you would leave it feeling supported.
Be blessed.
I don't have any words of wisdom...
Only that your faith amazes me. And I'm praying for you daily.
All I can say is Richard is a smart, smart man!
Bless your heart! I don't know what to say except to trust in the Lord! Richard has some very wise insight. Believe that!
Many many prayers to you guys!!!!! *Hugs*
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