In the Mirror...

Every morning I get up drink my cups of coffee and proceed with my regular morning ritual.

Every morning I pull my hair back, wash my face with Noxzema, apply moisturizer and then begin applying my make-up.

Every morning in the same house, same bathroom, while looking in the same mirror as the day before.

This morning I caught a glimpse of someone I barely recognized looking back at me.

The eyes were tired, weak, weary and sad. The longer I looked the deeper they became.

This is not me. I am not tired, weak, weary or sad.

Yes it is you, I heard the voice inside my head saying.

WHAT!?

I looked away. I could no longer look into those eyes.

I cried. My own eyes made me cry.

I don't want to be the person staring at me in the mirror.

I know that my patience has been wearing thin, I have not been the spunky, outgoing person everyone knows. My emails have been short and lacking as well as my Instant Message conversations. I'm sorry if it was you on the other end.

I realized I am not as strong as I thought. I can not continue on doing this alone. I need to pass my burdens on...

to God.

He's there I know that. Jesus, me and Him are tight. We talk all the time. Ok, so I talk He listens. It works for us that way cause I talk and talk and talk and he can't get a word in edge wise. But when he does, I certainly listen.

I know that I have to continue to turn this over to Him. For some reason I can't. My heart is heavy. Let Go, Let God as Lula once told me.

I have to, I had to... I did.

For my burdens are not mine to have to bear alone.

I've known it for some time but I just realized it while looking in the mirror this morning.

Thank you God for letting me see the me that I don't want to be. Thank you God for taking the burdens without question. Thank you for guiding me along this road. Thank you for letting me see... me.

Just...

thank you for the Mirror.