Well it's the end of day 3 for Richard's chemo. Things have for the most part been fine. Although I think the hand and foot syndrome has started his knuckles and fingers are really red almost purplish like. And there is these little white specks everywhere. He said they tingle a little. Hmmmm... is this the start of side effects? Probably so the Doc said it would take a few days. I suppose 3 counts as a few.
Last night he was having some issues with his body temperature. First he was burning up so he turned on the AC then within like 2 minutes he was freezing, shivering and asking for a blanket. But he wasn't running any fever. We checked it only 98.9. So not to sure about that one. All in all so far it hasn't been very bad. Now if we can continue this for the next 5 weeks will be the thing. I am so hoping, praying, begging that with him doing one week on and one week off the drugs that it will help.
Tomorrow is Friday Whoo Hoo. I am so excited. This week has been really tiresome. I don't know why maybe just for the simple fact that I couldn't even begin to tell you when the last time I had a GOOD night's sleep was. If it wasn't for the sleeping medicine making me feel even more terrible I would take that. But no thanks I feel bad enough as it is. Yeah, yeah I know poor pitiful me. Ok so Not really.
And then there is something I have had on my mind for awhile. There is a certain person who shall remain anonymous that has been in a situation like mine. Just without the CF part and the type of cancer it is. I want really bad to talk to this person. But I don't know if I want answers to the questions I have. I have nothing but the up most respect and Godly love for this person but maybe some things are better left unsaid. But then again I feel like I need someone that just knows and totally understands my dilemma and where I'm coming from. I want someone to say it SUCKS! Someone to cry with me not for me. Am I making any sense here? I couldn't even hardly utter the words to ask for the phone number (how am I ever going to carry on a conversation with said person?) then of course I became an upset, crying person that couldn't even speak. I mean what is up with that? It's like my emotions are just absolutely uncontrollable. I know that whole thing about some days will be better than others. But come on I need a break... from myself. No maybe just a vacation. Oooooo the beach would be awesome. Maybe we'll see.
Maybe I just think too much. That is so possible. :-)
1 comments:
In my humble opinion, I say go ahead and ask for that phone number. Going through this, it was very difficult for my mom and myself not having someone who we felt really and truly could understand what we are going through. I remember always writing in my journal, "Nobody understands!" I did also seek out some grief and support groups on the internet which I found helpful.
I say give this person a call and give yourself some relief. Don't forget about yourself and your health (both mentally and physically) during this time.
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