Richard had a Doctors appointment today with the Oncologist. No news to tell except that he has chronic blood loss somewhere in the GI tract, which is not that abnormal considering the type of cancer he has.
He's very anemic due to this. So the Doctor has put him on 325 milligrams of Iron per day.
Towards the end of our appointment Dr. P handed me Richard's papers that we have to use to check out. On the paper there was no appointment follow up time usually it will say 4 weeks or 6. But at the top today it just said "Will Call."
Dr. P doesn't need to see us anymore since Richard is now on Hospice and he is his attending. But if something new comes up and we want to see him we can call and be worked in.
We knew this was coming. I was fine until we were leaving and I just fell apart. I just feel hopeless and overwhelmed most of all I feel scared, scared of it being so official.
6 months ago
23 comments:
I am so sorry. I hate it when something changes in my world and I had no control over the change(of course, I realize I do not have control).
Someone else changes the status quo without asking me if it is ok. Someone changed your status quo without asking didn't they.
My God continue to uphold you with His mighty hand.
Lisa Q
I'm sorry! I don't blame you for being scared...I would! I'm praying God will comfort you during this time!!
i am so sorry kori. please know you all are in our prayers still.
much love and hugs!
Being scared is such a, well, scary feeling.
The finality of it all. I know what you mean.
This sucks right now. And probably will, for awhile.
We will be here to help pick up the pieces with you, Kori.
You can do this.
Oh Kori ~ I'm so sorry...I just want to wrap you up in a big hug...and cry with you.
Hugz,
Michele
Praying for you...
Hi Kori,
No more doc appts just makes it official that nothing else can be done to make him better. Look at this time as relaxing and just being together. Tests and blood work and all that stuff will just were him out. Crawl in beside him and just lie together and enjoy each other's company. Make it time to be close...you will treasure it. The sadness will be there later. Just keep him comfy and be there for each other...you will always wish for one more day, one more hug...smell him, touch him, memorize his sound when he sleeps, stare at his face, his hands...some day it will be the only thing you can cling on to. Make your "end times" about the family, Richard, yourself and the boys. All the turmoil will come later.
Be Peaceful...accept the things friends want to do for you.
Lots of Love,
Kimberly
no advice to offer, just hugs.
So sorry to read this tonight... I am still praying for you and your family. It breaks my heart.
Christine
Oh Kori...it sucks..... one day at a time...and breathe..
Love you!!
I agree with Jane. This SUCKS. But just keep breathing, one breath at a time. Keep looking up. Keep trusting God. Spoil Richard any way you can and just spend this time loving him. You will not be alone during or after this. Just let friends and family - and most of all, Christ - support you right now. Love and hugs to you!
Kori, your "wants and don'ts" post is sad, touching, and beautiful all at the same time, and oh so real. I hope you took the time to actually scream out loud. And don't hesitate to say what you're thinking and feeling. We are the ones peeking into your world, you do not have to censor anything for anyone's account.
Still praying and still sending love your way.
Oh Honey Pie.. ALWAYS in my thoughts and prayers.. ALWAYS!!
It's not a good day for you, and no matter how long you have to prepare, it's never enough and oh I feel for you. I hope you have so much more time with Richard. Good luck finding your peace, and know that my thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
You're always in my prayers...
I know you're scared. And that's OK.
I'm praying. I know I always tell you this, but it's true.
Like another poster said, Kori, take this time to just revel in each other's company. Lots of hugs and kisses.
I'm always thinking of you! (sorry I haven't been around as much lately...)
I wish I had words that would make it all better for you. This is a scary thing to be going through, please hang in there!
Sending good thoughts your way!
This such a hard time and it sucks. But your doing what needs doing .Take the time with Richard and your boys.
Keep Trusting in God and my prayers sure are with you at this time.
I know you're already doing all you can to treasure every moment. Just don't try to be too strong for everybody. Cry if you need to, in front of them too. Richard and the boys already know you're doing it.
God is near to us in our broken situations, praying his presence around Richard, Kori and the boys.
Please don't feel hopeless....God is there with you...I'm praying of you all.
Kori, I reposted your last blog post. Keeping you in my prayers through this difficult time. Sending lots of hugs to all of you.
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