Frustrated need Help

Ok all of ya'll know about our wonderful gift to go to Disney.

We are super excited! We leave in March.

But I am having some problems.

We need to rent a vehicle to get there and back.

Why? you ask.

I have a Mustang. It is small and the further you drive it with 4 people inside the smaller it gets. I'm serious.

Richard has a van it's like a 90's model Ford van. It's also a 5 speed which I don't know how to drive. And it has over 200 thousand miles on it.

Grant it we have drove this vehicle on many a long distant trip.

The only thing about doing this now is Richard gets tired really easily and I need to be able to drive when he needs to rest.

We have also pretty much retired the Van from all long distance trips just because it is getting up there in miles and it is bound to tear up like when we are hundreds of miles from home.

We don't want to push our luck anymore with the Van. She's an old girl and it's time to let her enjoy her retirement.

So renting a SUV was what we had planned on doing. I have the money to do so. But I didn't realize that it costs nearly $900 to do so for 10 days.

That is Highway robbery. Outrageous.

So I come to you guys.

Do any of ya'll know a website or anything where I might can save some money on the rental?

I need some serious help.

Cause yes I have the money for it but every little bit of money we can save to use while at Disney the better.

So please suggest away.

Sick with Presents

My day started early. I'm talking 2:30 AM early.

My throat and my head were killing me. I finally managed to go back to sleep not to long before the alarm clock began singing it's tune to start the day.

I got up but felt no better. It didn't take me long to decide that I was not going to be able to go to work feeling like this. So I called in. Good thing my Boss is awesome.

I was sure I had strep throat.

Called the Doctor couldn't get in till 1:20. So I slept. Took a 3 hour nap as a matter of fact.

Hubby took me to the Doctor. Yep I know he's such a sweetie. He really went with me so he could get his Flu shot. But he's still a keeper.

Anyhow he got a shot and I got gagged by a long q-tip. Ugh there has to be a better way to check for strep. Seriously.

Needless to say I don't have strep.

But I do have a sinus infection and double ear infection. That would explain why I have been having to get everyone to repeat everything.

Got some meds and I'm feeling a little better.

Back to work tomorrow. Thank goodness it's the end of the week.

Oh but while I was laying on the couch and going through the mail. I came across a deal I couldn't pass up. It was literally a steal. Hubby loves his current cell phone and said I could use his VIP upgrade. I had to have it.

So without further or do let me introduce to...
Yes my friend. That would be the new Blackberry Storm. It is mine all mine. It will be here Friday and I can't wait. I can check emails, blog and whatever else from anywhere. I love Verizon it's the only cell phone service that has ever picked up here in our po-dunk town.

Happy late Christmas present, Valentine's Day, Birthday to me! It doesn't take much to make me a very Happy girl even when I have a temperature. Thanks Hubby your the best. I love you.
I'll be around to visit blogs when I feel a little bit better than I do right now. I know my comments have been seriously lacking. I'll be around your way soon.

I've been Interviewed

Yep you heard me I have been interviewed. Whoo hoo.

Karla over at Zander and Me did an interview post and wanted to interview others. And since I just adore her, I was so game. And boy oh boy did she ever bring it.

1. Your faith is so strong, its wonderful to see how you keep it always. Have you always been a Christian? Or is there something specific that happened that turned you to Christ?

(WOW what a question) No, I haven't always been a Christian. I have had a plenty of sin in my life and I have learned from it all. When I was 14 I accepted Christ as my Savior or at least I thought I had. I said the prayer but continued to do the things I wanted to do. Then in May of 2002 when I was 22 years old we joined Sharon Heights. I don't remember the lesson that day or anything that the Preacher said but I remember the feeling I felt, and the tears that I wept on the altar. That is the day that I turned it all over to Him and it was gone, the weight was lifted. My walk with Him hasn't been easy. But the comforting thing to know is that I can rely on Him when I am in the trenches He provides all the strength I need. When I am overjoyed with the way my life is going I know that He is too. God saved me most of all from myself.

2. I’ve been reflecting a lot on my past recently…I have no idea why…but let’s go with it. Knowing what I know now, I wish I had some ‘do-overs’. (I know I learn from my mistakes, but do-overs still sound nice) Is there anything that you did or didn’t do that you wish you could ‘do-over’?

Boy do I have some do-overs I would like. I wish I would have stood up to my ex long before I ever actually did. For 5 years I put up with physical and mental abuse. 5 years is a long time and being only 16 it really makes you grow up fast and it makes you tough. It used to take me a long time to trust anyone to really let anyone in. The best thing that happened in those 5 years was having my sons. They saved me. I did learn what real love is meant to be like. Thank God for Richard. My knight in shining armor to show me the way that love is supposed to be.

3 Your boys are getting so big, so fast. I mean, they have already hit puberty (haha)….Do they talk about things they want to do when they grow up? What are some of their plans?

Well Jacob loves food. There is nothing he won't try. He wants to go to Culinary School when he graduates. His goal is to become a World Renowned Chef. Calob isn't real sure what he wants to be quite yet. He loves to draw and is in-love with the Arts. So who knows. Whatever they choose to be is their decision and I want them to be happy in whatever it may be.

4. Before Richard, who was the biggest influence in your life? The person that maybe knew you the best? Or shaped who you are in a big way?

There are a lot of people that have influenced me over the years. Who have told me I was stupid for some poor decisions I have made and who have loved me through them regardless. I am thankful for them all. They know who they are.

5. I know you have so much going on in your life currently. But, when you do get time, do you have a hobby you like to do? Just something for you? If so, what is it and how long have you enjoyed this?

Oh I do have a hobby. I love to crochet. It is probably one of the best stress relievers I have found, it keeps my mind busy which is great. I could go broke in the yarn aisle at Hobby Lobby. All the colors, oh the pretty colors. Love it!

Well that concludes this interview. It was alot of fun. Thanks Karla!

Puberty

My boys are something else.

They are both smart, funny and very handsome.

See for yourself. Yep I made those!

Anyhow sometimes they leave me speechless.

The other day I was on my way home so I called to let them know.

A young voice comes on the phone so I am talking away.

How was your day at School? Did you get all your homework done?

Then the young voice starts cracking as he is talking to me.

So then I ask are you sick? Is your throat sore Calob?

Ya know the Mom routine.

Then the young voice says

"Mom this is Jacob. I feel fine. Why?"

Then I say... Oh honey I'm sorry I thought you were Calob you sounded just like him.

All of a sudden he says. Yeah I think I'm going through Puberty.

I stifle my outburst of laughter and ask...

Really? How come?

Well cause you just said I sound like Calob and I have a mustache. You can really see it in the sunlight.

(speechless)

Then the other morning I am in the bathroom with Calob.

I am fixing my hair.

He is brushing his teeth.

I notice he is admiring himself in the mirror.

Nothing abnormal I mean he is some kind of a handsome little fella.

He gets through, spits, dries mouth.

Then proceeds to still look in the mirror.

I ask him if everything is ok.

He says...

"Yes Ma'am. I think I have hit Puberty. "

Really? How come?

Cause I am Smokin' Hott.

(again speechless)

I may never understand the mind of the male.

However I did learn that I obviously use the words Smokin' Hott a little much.

Now excuse me while I go stop Jacob from shaving his 'stache and remove all my mirrors so Calob's head won't swell to much.

Also it appears that Calob thinks he is grown and that he doesn't have to mind the teacher at School or the Prinicipal. He also seems to think it's ok for him to tell them that he is not going to do his work. Just not gonna do it. Hard-headed this one I tell ya. My child that is way smarter than I ever was at the age of 9 is suspended from School tomorrow.

Yes SUSPENDED!

He is also grounded until further notice and he has a sore bottom.

At least he has his Puberty.

What is a Mother to do?

Hatemail. Me? Really?

I have been keeping a little something in my back pocket for a while now. Debating if I should even bother replying. But ya know I have decided after much prayer that I am just gonna put it out there and be done with it. I mean what better way to do it than here at my blog. I mean this is where it all stems from anyway.

So here it goes. Hang on it's gonna be a very bumpy ride.

About a month or so ago I received an email. Okay so nothing unusual about that. I get emails from people I don't know pretty regularly. I mean my email is out there for anyone who wants it. Here I'll give it to you just so you won't have to look for it. It is cferswife@gmail.com send them on ya'll.

Ok so I proceed to open this email and I was flabbergasted.

The email said...

Anybody that knows anything about Cystic Fibrosis knows that you are a liar. Richard looks too healthy to have that deadly disease and I can't believe people actually fall for that. He's too old to have it and still be alive. It's horrible that you throw Cancer in the mix to really pull on peoples heart strings to try and get a handout. Is CF not enough for that? You should be arrested for taking advantage of people and playing with their emotions. It's also a shame that you use God the way you do to make people think that you are just so wonderful and holy when really you are nothing more than a worthless piece of trash.

So don't ya'll just think that is lovely? My very first hate mail. Guess I have reached RockStar status. Now I just need myself a stalker.

In all seriousness though. This has been a little disturbing to me. It really got me thinking how many people are reading my blog and thinking this way?

Then I stopped and prayed for them.

So to make me feel better I thought I would clear some things up.

Richard is 46 years old. He was diagnosed with CF when he was 3 back in 1965. His Mother was told then that he wouldn't live to graduate High school. He spent those next few years in and out of the hospital with bowel obstructions and alot of digestive issues. Up until he was 13 years old he slept every night in a mist tent. His first admission for a lung infection wasn't until he was 15. Ever since then he has gone in the hospital pretty regularly about every 3 to 4 months. We got married when I was 20 and Richard was 38. He was still going to Children's Hospital then. In 2001 the new CF center was opened at UAB Hospital and this is where he goes now. Richard has always been more healthy than some of the other CF's. He has lost many friends to this same dreaded disease. He watched his best friend Andrew die right in front of him. It's hard knowing that you have outlived alot of the friends you grew up with. I mean you develop relationships and strong bonds with these people that you spend 2 weeks with every couple of months. They become like family.

Just in the 8 years we have been married I can think of 4 that we have lost in that short period of time. Everyday someone dies from CF. Do you have any idea what it's like to pretty much know you are going to die by drowning in your own secretions? Richard has said many times he would rather get hit by bus than to die from CF. I guess when you are as old as he is and when you have lost so many people close to you from this, I think you have plenty a reason to feel that way. I have no reason to lie about this. My husband is one of the few that have lived past the life expectancy. We are more than thankful to God for everyday.

As far as the cancer goes. It is real. It is there. He is dying. I think it's wonderful that you think he looks so healthy. But you don't hear the cough that sounds like it hurts so bad. You don't see the pain in his eyes when he moves a certain way. You don't feel the warm tears as they fall on your cheek when he kisses you. You don't have to witness him taking something for pain that will hopefully just take the edge off enough to make it bearable. It's ME! But you know what. I wouldn't trade this life I have with him for anything. NOTHING.

Then there is the subject of taking advantage of people. Are you kidding me? This sentence has definitely been the most disturbing to me. I have never asked for anything EVER on my blog or anywhere else for that matter. I use my blog as a place to come and get my feelings out. When I first started this is was for nothing but the mere fact for me to be able to journal about this journey we are on. So family could follow up with us rather than me having to call them every time something new happened. I have blogged about the hardships of our family. It has been more than just a little rough. But I am so incredibly thankful for people that felt compelled to help us. It warms my heart to know that their are still people that believe in helping the fellow man/woman during hardships. That my friend is God. Without the gifts from strangers my kids wouldn't have had a Christmas. The trip to Disney blew us away. I have mentioned on my blog about how Richard has been wanting to do that with us. That is all I did. Next thing I know I am getting a phone call from a Travel Angel. I'm sorry if anyone looks at this as we are taking advantage of people. That is not my intention. Maybe I misunderstood but I thought this was MY blog and I could post about anything I wanted. Was I wrong?

Now for the most important subject matter... God. I do not use Him to make myself appear better. He my friend uses me and makes me a better person because of Him. He uses me.

I am thankful for this blog, the friendships I have made, the people I have met IRL.

If this is the only hatemail I get well I think I can handle it.

Able to Exhale

Well after sitting here all morning debating on whether or not I should call the Nurse I finally did. Of course I got her voicemail and had to leave a message.

She called not even 5 minutes later.

The report said that it appears that I have a 9 Millimeter Benign Lesion or Mass. They don't think it is necessary for me to have a biopsy at this point. But they want me to see the Doctor in 3 months for another Ultrasound.

Ever since this whole ordeal began last week I have felt like I have been holding my breath just waiting for the news.

Finally I am able to exhale.

Thank you all for your encouragement, kindness, and Love.

But most of all thank you for calling on God on my behalf.

Our prayers were answered.

I'm here somewhere

So this is like the 4th day that I have come here. Staring at this screen. Contemplating what to say. Trying desperately to put my feelings into words.

I keep coming up empty.

I want you all to know that I have read every single comment, every email, every IM and every Blog asking for prayers for myself and my family.

It has been very overwhelming to say the least.

I have been amazed by the love I have felt and been shown from complete strangers through this blog of mine.

I am truly beside myself.

You all continue to amaze me with your outpouring of love and kindness for the 4 of us in this family of ours.

Thank you just doesn't seem sufficient enough to express the way that my heart feels.

I still don't know anything.

I did call the Nurse today, they do have the report back from the Ultrasound but not the Mammogram.

She wouldn't tell me anything.

She said she had to wait for the complete report before she could give me any information.

She said she was going to try to track down the results and call me back.

She didn't call.

Maybe tomorrow.

So I wait some more.

I know that my posts and my comments are lacking.

Sorry.

I needed some time.

I know that I don't know what this is yet but, I feel like I have looked at it from all sides and I am ready for whatever it is.

So I wait and pray.

Waiting and Praying seems to be the story of our lives.