I'm here somewhere

So this is like the 4th day that I have come here. Staring at this screen. Contemplating what to say. Trying desperately to put my feelings into words.

I keep coming up empty.

I want you all to know that I have read every single comment, every email, every IM and every Blog asking for prayers for myself and my family.

It has been very overwhelming to say the least.

I have been amazed by the love I have felt and been shown from complete strangers through this blog of mine.

I am truly beside myself.

You all continue to amaze me with your outpouring of love and kindness for the 4 of us in this family of ours.

Thank you just doesn't seem sufficient enough to express the way that my heart feels.

I still don't know anything.

I did call the Nurse today, they do have the report back from the Ultrasound but not the Mammogram.

She wouldn't tell me anything.

She said she had to wait for the complete report before she could give me any information.

She said she was going to try to track down the results and call me back.

She didn't call.

Maybe tomorrow.

So I wait some more.

I know that my posts and my comments are lacking.

Sorry.

I needed some time.

I know that I don't know what this is yet but, I feel like I have looked at it from all sides and I am ready for whatever it is.

So I wait and pray.

Waiting and Praying seems to be the story of our lives.

Oh me, Oh my

WoW you guys must have kept God really busy today with all those prayers. Thanks cause I needed them for sure. And I still do.

No need to hold your breath while I explain I'm gonna give it to you straight.

I discovered a couple of lumps in my breast. One is about the size of a nickel the other is about the size of a pea. Today at 3 I had my appointment with the Obgyn to see what I had going on in these here girls of mine.

The Doctor I have to say was very nice. We sat in his office and chatted for a bit before he wanted to see the girls. Needless to say upon examination he found the lumps without me even having to mention where they were.

I held my breath as he spoke of it could be this or that. He wanted an ultrasound immediately.

So I had to wait in my blue paper gown that opens in the front while holding my shirt and bra in my hand until the ultrasound tech was ready for me. She too was extremely nice. She couldn't see the pea size one on the screen even though she felt it with her hand. The larger one she spent some quality time with that little gem in there. A lot longer than I felt comfortable with. When she was through and I thoroughly wiped all the goo off my girl. I dressed and had to go back to Doctor F's office. I waited, I texted trying to keep my mind busy.

He came in and I knew by the look on his face. He didn't even have to speak. But he did...

"Kori this is not what I wanted to see. I am not a radiologist by no means, nor am I an Oncologist or a Surgeon. But I don't like the appearance. I wanted it to be a cyst. I am not going to tell you it's cancer because I don't know that yet. It could just be a benign tumor. (trying not to cry, trying not to cry) If I send this to the radiologist they are going to want a Mammogram. Could you do a Mammogram today?"

I didn't even have to think about it. Of course I could. So the Mammogram lady was just about to go home but she stayed to do me. Yep she was nice too. She squished and manipulated my girls like I couldn't believe.

So after every one and their brother seen, touched and ogled at my girls I am home. I have no answers. It will be 7 to 10 days before they get the reports back from the radiologist. Depending on their report I will be sent to a Surgeon for a biopsy and then the real drama will begin.

Right now I choose to stay positive. I have cried since being at home with Richard with all his hugs and sweet forehead kisses.

This can not happen. It just can't. It has to be something else. I need it to be something else. Please God anything else.

I need prayers over these next 7 to 10 days you guys. Prayers that I don't completely lose my mind. Prayers that I can sleep and not worry so much. Prayers that it's nothing serious.

Dear God,
I love you and I know you love me because otherwise you wouldn't think us worthy enough to carry all of these heavy burdens. You are an awesome God. You are good to us when we might not be so good to you. In the deepest of trenches you are there with me, near me, holding me. You are God. You know every bone in my body, every freckle upon my face and you know this... whatever it may be. No matter I will use it God. I will use it to honor You. I will use it to show that You are the only way. Because God you are the ONLY way. I love You because You first loved me always.
Serving regardless, Kori

Please say a prayer for me.

Something has been brought to my attention and I go to the Doctor today at 3pm to see about it.

I don't want to get into it today. Just keep me in your prayers.

STOP... WOW

You can read if you like. Guess I have been having myself a little pity party over things. I just needed to get them out of my head and somewhere else. I needed to be whiny and self pitying for a second.

I worry about alot of things. After many, many sleepless nights I have come to realize that worrying about it doesn't do any good. But knowing that doesn't make me sleep any better.

There have been times in my life when things came easy. Bills were always paid on time and we had extra left over to do the things we wanted without question. When Richard and I first got married I was so homesick for Florida, my home town of Jacksonville that we would go there once a month for about the first 6 months I lived in Alabama. Things have certainly changed since then. For instance this past July was the first time I have been to Jacksonville to see my Dad in 2 years. Simply because we just couldn't afford it.

I am more than grateful for an awesome job that i love in these trying times of our Nation but I so miss the old days when we both worked. I full-time, Richard worked 2 to 3 days a week do to the limits of his CF. Things were just so much better for us then. Things have certainly changed.

I don't know exactly what my point was to all this accept for the despite it all I am thankful.

Thankful for my unwavering faith in God, a Husband that continues to fight Cystic Fibrosis and Cancer with all his might, two beautifully smart amazing boys, a roof over our heads, heat on the cold wintry nights, and food to fill our tummies.

Sure we may not be able to take weekend trips to the coast or to the mountains of Tennessee, we may not be able to eat out but once every 3 months or so, or to go shopping without a calculator to make sure we stay under our grocery spending limit.

But when I STOP and look and see what all we do have. All I can say is WOW.

Just... WOW!

Ok self-pitying time is now officially over. Time to pick myself up and dust myself off.

Family Reunion

I'm sure we have all had times when we have missed our family something terrible. And then when you get to see them after a while it is just a great experience.


Well that's how it was for us today. You see we haven't been to Church in almost 3 months due to the way the Hubs has been feeling. The boys still go all the time just without us.


But today was another "feel good day" for the hubby so we got to go. It was the best. Our Church Family is beyond amazing.


We have been a member of Sharon Heights for almost 6 years now. From our very first visit we have felt nothing short of love.


These people are our family in so many ways. They love, encourage and pray for us daily without question. They call, come by and send cards just to let us know that they are thinking of us and miss us just as much as we miss them.


They send messages through the boys like "tell your Mom and Dad I love them" You have know idea what this does for ones heart.


We are beyond thankful that God has put us at Sharon Heights cause He knew all along where we belonged.


Sunday School was wonderful. I love our class and our teacher KB, he is just an awesome, awesome guy and we are so blessed to be able to have a friend and brother like him. His wife L is someone I know I can count on for anything like coming all the way from the other side of the Church just to let me know she is there for me and to give me a hug. (so proud of you for not crying with me today. Love you guys)


Church service was nothing less than a true blessing. Many thanks to Pastor J for always keeping it real. We just adore our Pastor our friend.


Of course with every hug I cried. Not to worry I did wear my water-proof mascara and was armed with plenty of kleenex. I loved every minute of it. These good days are priceless and I pray God gives us many, many more.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Phillipians 4:6,7

Shoes, Food & a Feeling Good Day

The day started off very good. Richard woke up without any pain which put him in a good mood and he wanted to get out of the house. Which was perfect because as you all know this past Monday Jacob turned 12. So we had promised him we would go out to eat.

But first we had to take care of some business. The boys had to have new shoes. It was a must. So on our way to get our grub on we stopped in Rack Room Shoes to check it out. They had a sale going on buy 1 get the 2nd for 50% off. Whoo Hoo.

So we looked and looked some more. What is with my kids wanting those huge shoes that make your feet look like they are five times fatter than they really are. Ugh. Skater shoes. My boys have very skinny, long feet. So these shoes do not look good especially in the summer when they wear shorts and they have their little toothpick looking legs with these huge shoes on. It's just not good. Ok Sorry to ramble.

Anyhow Calob found him some he liked right off the bat. The last pair they had and they were his size. Yay. After Jacob looked forever we finally found some he liked at this moment I could almost promise I heard the angels singing, rejoicing cause I know I was. (he is picker than I am about shoes) I can not believe he is in a men's size 7 1/2. And adult shoes are way more expensive than kids. But we survived thanks to the sale.

So after all the shoe drama we then went to Joe's Crab Shack for some good food. Jacob's pick for his Birthday. We were all starving.

Calob resorted to eating the Lemons from Kim's sweet tea while we waited on appetizers.

I shot our waitress and my husband a look when they tried to tie a huge bib around my neck. I think the look said it all. What do you think?

Jacob was hungry and very much prepared for his feast of Crab legs.

Richard was just over the moon to be having a "Feel Good Day"

After we stuffed ourselves on crab legs, shrimp and some super yummy dessert. Jacob had to do a little Rock Show for everyone at the restaurant while we all sang Happy Birthday to him. Yep he was a little more than embarrassed but he was such a good sport unlike his Mother with the bib incident.

If we have a hundred bad days and only ten good

we will still give thanks and praise to God no matter what day it is.

Help a girl out. Please?

So as I sit here in my nice warm cozy bed listening to my husband watch his beloved Alabama Football team at the Sugar Bowl in the living room. I keep hearing words like... embarrassing, unbelievable, come on John Parker get it together. Pretty funny stuff.

I also hear my two youngens sitting in the kitchen floor with their Ninetendo Ds's playing some game with the boy in the house next door. Yes they are sitting in the floor up against the cabinets in the kitchen because "Mom this is the only place we can get a signal without freezing outside."

Anyways back to me. This Blog really is about me ya know. I mean can't ya tell? Haha

So Ok I have been trying to plan our Disney Trip. TRYING. I am very much overwhelmed.

There are only 70 Days LEFT!

I am not a planner. I am definitely a fly by the seat of my britches kind of girl.

I know I need to be making some reservations at places to eat. But where?

I have all the books. The Guide to Walt Disney World books. I have been to the website.

But ya'll I don't even know where to begin.

This is where you come in. I need ya'lls help.

Tell me places we absolutely shouldn't miss seeing, places we go to get our grub on.

I am really contemplating going without a plan. I certainly don't want to over plan. Is it necessary to have a plan? Can we just go and be and enjoy? Is that possible? Is it better to plan? Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.

What do you think? Give me some suggestions, tell me what you loved most about Disney.