My Prayers and I...

So with everything going on I just really don't know where to begin my post. Guess I'm a little stumped. I would like to ask you all to please pray for Richard. He is having a difficult time with the rash. It has become very painful and extremely uncomfortable for him. It is all over his head, face, neck, upper torso. He is having a hard time getting any sleep at night due to the pain. The doctor did call him some medicine to take. Hopefully it will help. He is also taking Benadryl and using a very good cream. Also please pray for the boys. We had to tell them the knew news last night. They are handling the best they know how. I know it's hard on them to have to function through their daily lives and then come home to this. I know because I do it too every time I leave to go to work. It hurts us that Richard hurts. We just love him so very much.

Since all I got is prayer request I thought I would take a second and do this little ditty from my friend Lizzie. Sorry if it seems a little down. Probably not the best time for me to do this. but it's my Blog and I'll be sad if I want to.

I AM ... a God follower, wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, ME.

I WANT... to be optimistic instead of realistic.

I HAVE ... more than I ever could have dreamed of having.

I WISH I COULD ... fix it all.

I HATE ... watching the man I love suffer.

I FEAR ... the future.

I HEAR ... the tears in the silence.

I SEARCH ... for peace and understanding.

I DON'T THINK ... I will ever find a love like this.

I REGRET ... nothing.

I LOVE ... the way he looks at me, the way he says my name, the way his lips lightly brush mine, the way he smells and feels. I just love.

I ACHE FOR ... the good ole days.

I ALWAYS CRY ... always.

I AM NOT ... as strong as I appear to be.

I DANCE ... with my boys.

I SING ... praise.

I NEVER ... have had to face my fears like this before.

I RARELY ... complain.

I CRY WHEN I WATCH ... my 3 guys together.

I AM NOT ALWAYS ... who I could be.

I HATE THAT ... this happens to anybody.

I'M CONFUSED ABOUT ... why God chooses not to fix these things. But I also understand why he gives them to us to bare.

I NEED ... to throw some clay.

I SHOULD ... try to sleep.

And on a happier note. I have some pretty awesome Co-workers. Minnie Mouse sent me some flowers to cheer me up. Thought that was pretty awesome. I love her she rocks.

And the best part. This arrangement was done by my friend Mandi aka Manj. She owns Hot House Deign Studio. She makes some of the most awesome contemporary pieces in flower arranging ever.

CT results

Even though this is not the most flattering picture of myself. I love it for many, many reasons.

When I got home yesterday I could tell something was up. I got off work early and came home so I could surprise the Hubby. He was definitely surprised to see me home earlier than usual. I was thumbing through the caller ID on the phone when I came across a UAB number that wasn't mine. I asked Richard if the Doc had called after some hesitation he said yes. I knew it wasn't good right then.

The 4 Tumors that are in Richard's peritoneum cavity the largest one has grew significantly. also the report said that they seen the original four tumors but that there are a few more. The Doctor said that once there is so many they no longer count them. Well a few is like 3 or more. Which means he has at least 7 now. The "few" were not there when he had the scan in June after he finished the Chemo treatments. So these are new. Which SUCKS! We've known that this was going to happen we just didn't expect to happen quite this fast.

The Cancer is spreading but it is staying contained in the peritoneum. The Doctor said that the liver and the pancreas still look clean. This is at least some good news. I would have wrote about this last night. But we had to tell all the family first.

I can't tell you how much we appreciate everyone of your prayers for our family. It means the world to us. Love you guys.

Also check out Kimberlee's Blog. She wrote an awesome post on what our Family and Richard mean to her. I love her so much. She is like my little sister. She is awesome the most rocking sitter ever. The boys love her so much as do we. She plays a big part in our family.

Blogs can change lives

Over at 5 minutes for Mom they are having not really a contest but an amazing opportunity for one family/ person in need. It's for a new HP laptop and printer. At first I thought nope I am not going to do this. But then I thought well why not.

So I am nominating my Husband Richard for this wonderful opportunity. Alot of you know Richard has Cystic Fibrosis and was just recently diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic Colon Cancer. He is undergoing treatments not to have it cured but to have more time to spend with us. There are many days when it takes all of Richard's energy just to get up in the mornings. He pretty much lives on the sofa or in the recliner for the remainder of the day. He loves to play solitaire or get on the computer just to look at the weather and Nasa's website. Something about guys and space.

But alot of days he can't do these things because he feels so bad. He can't sit there for long periods of time.

Also when he goes in the Hospital he stays for 14 days at a time. No more no less. This happens about every three months. It gets pretty boring in the hospital if you guys didn't know. As well as it takes a huge toll on Richard being away from us. The boys are unable to go visit him that much because of School and me working. So we spend our weekends there. I try to go over everyday on my lunch break. But none the less it is desperately boring.

I think if he was to be rewarded with this gift. It would make his day. He would feel like he was able to communicate with others and just to have something to do. He could lay on the couch or in the bed and play his beloved solitaire or check out websites.

And maybe even write some more on his Blog which is being seriously neglected.

Also with Jacob being in Middle School now alot of his work is required to be typed and printed. We do not have a printer due to the cost. So that would be great to have for the boys and their School projects. Instead of having to venture to the Library.

Anyhow whether it is us that is picked or not I know that it will go to someone well deserving like Tammy.

Also if you think we deserve this extremely generous gift. You can leave a comment over at 5 Minutes for Mom telling them so.

Jacob my incredibly big-hearted son Jacob

Jacob is adjusting well to Middle School. He loves it. It could be because he thinks he's almost grown or because his Homeroom Teacher is Hott. Oh and let's not forget the Science Teacher that is also Hott. Maybe I should just send him to School blindfolded. What do you think?

Anyways the Teachers have been giving him these exercises. Of questions like My favorite color is? Ya know the ones. Well I'm looking at them this evening and I stumble across this.

It reads... "My one wish is" and then Jacob wrote "to cure my dad of cancer"

Wow I mean talk about almost having a complete meltdown. Then I come across this...

It reads "Who's your best Hero ever?" Jacob writes "My Dad"

Ok I knew that my kids were/ are great. I've always considered Richard a Hero of sorts. I mean all the things he has to go through day in and day out. But for Jacob to write this it's overwhelming for me. It bothers me that my Son's one wish is to cure his Dad. It upsets me. I don't know why. Maybe it's because all the other kids got to write things like they wanted a Dirt Bike or to be an MLB all star or a Nascar Driver or a Millionaire like Bill Gates. But No my son just wants his Dad. Wow talk about humbling.

Then as I read I come across this...

It says "What's the best thing you've ever done for a friend?" And my Jacob wrote "Talk to them about God." Praise God! My wonderful son knows that the best thing he can do for his friends is to tell them about Sweet Jesus. I have never been more proud as a Mother, as a Christian as a firm believer than at the very moment I read this.

And then I seen this.

It reads "In my future I see..." And Jacob wrote "Success and Happiness"

Oh Jacob I wish you nothing but plenty of Success and Happiness. You make me so very proud to be your Mother. I love you.

We have RASH!

Yes folks you read that right we have RASH!

Richard as you know started the new Antibody treatment on Monday. And the Doctor said that most people develop a rash if it is working due to something with the skin and the Tumors. But Richard has a rash. Isn't that exciting. Oh I am so relieved I was getting worried because there was nothing. Yes I know it has only been two days but I am slightly inpatient. Ok alot inpatient. Anyway he has red splotchy patches all over his face and upper torso. YAY! I have never been so excited about a rash before. But this one is awesome. Rash = Antibody working!

Also I got my prize today. This is the Warmer that Laurie sent me. Isn't it pretty? And the best part is it totally matches my furnishings in the living room. That's another great thing. The Warmers come in so many different styles there is something for everyone.

These are the Scentsy Blocks you put them in the top plug it in, turn the light on and they melt and smell so good. I mean there smokeless, wick less and if you want to switch scents you just melt the wax pour it back into it's original package wipe out the warmer and voila you can put new ones in. I love, love, love love it!

You know the one that I won from Scentsy. My house smells so fresh and clean and wonderful. With two boys, two dogs and a husband sometimes my house leaves less to be desired on the whole smell factor. But not anymore. I am a Scentsy addict from here on out. I think I am giving these lovely little jewels of smelly goodness for Christmas presents. So be sure to check it out. Once you go Scentsy you won't want anymore candles.

Read all about it.

First off Richard went yesterday morning for his CT scan. No news on the measurement of the tumors yet.

Talked to my Dad last night. His test went fine. He has to wait till next week to see the Doctor so they can review everything to try and determine what is causing his liver enzymes to be so high. So it's just the same old routine hurry up and wait. UGH!

The boys started School today. Jacob was nervous about his first day of Middle School and switching classes. Calob was very excited he got the teacher he wanted. So that just made his day. I can't wait till this afternoon to hear all about their day.

Kimberlee got back from her Panama City Beach vacation last night. She brought us all presents back. Guess what I got...

Yep that's right. It's a salt and pepper shaker and a toothpick holder. I love it. I collect all and any S &P shakers. I don't know what it is I just love them. I guess because there is just so many different ones. I'm serious just go to Ebay and type in salt and pepper shakers and see how many you get. It's crazy. I want them all.

Kim is the greatest for bringing me back this super cute one. Love you Kimmie!

Contest

So my new friend Jennifer over at the Fun House is having an AWESOME GIVEAWAY for some amazing bath products. I want them and I bet you will too. So go check it out!