As I sit

As I sit here tonight at my husbands bedside in the Hospital watching him sleep and listening to him breathe. All the while machines are beeping, oxygen is gurgling from the water, people are coming in and out. It's hectic here in this place.

As I glance across the bed I see our oldest, sweet Jacob with his face lit up all a glow from the gameboy he is playing. He stops, looks up and glances over at me and gives me just a hint of a smile. Then he looks down at his Daddy and he still smiles. Even though it's hectic here in this place.

We are here because Hubby has had an interesting day and I was asked to stay. It all started this morning with a new pain in the groin. There is a knot there a swollen lymphnode. The Doctor believes it is the cancer spreading further. He increased Richard's pain meds. Then when I was leaving to return to work after lunch the nurse stopped me in the hallway to let me know that Richard's weight was off by 10 pounds yesterday, showing that he had gained 10 pounds since Thursday. I old her that most definitely was a mistake because he is barely eating anything. They re-weighed him. He has gained 16 pounds since Thursday. 16 POUNDS! What!? I asked. Yes it is true. My hubby is retaining large amounts of fluid in his body. The Doctor then put him on Lasix. It is definitely a hectic place here.

I scrambled this evening trying to find somewhere for the boys to stay so I could be here. Calob is now with his best buddy. Jacob is here in this hectic place. When I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere else... "No" was the answer I got.

So here we sit in our PJammies while the love of our lives sleeps in a peaceful slumber. He is still and comfortable and we are glad. Still loopy from all the Benadryl they continue to give him to help with the allergic reaction to the IV antibiotics. Jacob thinks the loopyness is hilarious, then Richard laughs too.

Here is this hectic place. There is no other place I would rather be.

God is here in this hectic place.

For this no matter how hectic I am thankful.

I leave with a picture from Saturday. I love it and thought you might too.